tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-63098551156021373062024-02-19T17:32:33.227-08:00Minion MadnessReneehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04433053001230927650noreply@blogger.comBlogger57125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6309855115602137306.post-83404079155020980602017-06-09T14:38:00.001-07:002017-06-09T14:38:35.357-07:00We've Got the Moving Blues<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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We closed on our new house today. </div>
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<br /></div>
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It’s a bittersweet moment. When we first moved into the tiny
town we live in, we promised our kids that unless something big happened, we
would be there long enough for them to finish school. Well, something big
happened. My husband’s company had a huge re-org, and the end result is that he’s
being transferred from a work from home position to an office-based one. And
we, our three kids and our five cats are moving 400+ miles back down south. </div>
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<br /></div>
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The logistics are enough to make my head explode. Especially
when it’s overlapped with the kids’ end of the year activities and working out
the last two weeks at my current job. The truth is, my coping skills are
exhausted, and I can’t WAIT to finish work and school so I can just focus on
one thing at a time! </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWXEP6OK5CEpCeRqUAsXe7mx3l8rj1l0yR2DCAJbSx3_Su1kcw8HLRGL5ySKpe6qDHPrHI0wEcgymw5zD94c0MQYIwTZpPtdsYieohrAwVhXRUFraKIgGBdASNKckntQlng3gdg2seha4/s1600/Funny+moving.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="281" data-original-width="500" height="179" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWXEP6OK5CEpCeRqUAsXe7mx3l8rj1l0yR2DCAJbSx3_Su1kcw8HLRGL5ySKpe6qDHPrHI0wEcgymw5zD94c0MQYIwTZpPtdsYieohrAwVhXRUFraKIgGBdASNKckntQlng3gdg2seha4/s320/Funny+moving.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
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We’re all a little back and forth on how we feel about the
move itself. The house we’re buying is gorgeous, and big enough that the kids
are all actually going to have their own space. Which is something we
definitely don’t have right now. (G-money just wants a room big enough that he can set up his computer instead of gaming in the dining room. That's how sad his current room situation is!)They’ll be closer to the grandparents and the
cousins. </div>
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<br /></div>
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It doesn’t snow nine months out of the year, so it has that going for
it, which is nice. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
On the flip side, kids are less than thrilled to be leaving
their friends. I really like the job I’m giving up, even though I’m fortunate
to have another already waiting for me. And of course, Princess C just got back
to school, and her BFFs and her boyfriend are all within walking distance of us
right now. So I’m sure that’s going to trigger some meltdowns. </div>
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<br /></div>
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I guess right now, all we can do is wait and see. And hope
spending 8 hours in a vehicle with 5 cats isn’t the debacle I think it’s going
to be! </div>
Reneehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04433053001230927650noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6309855115602137306.post-86046316825854503712017-04-02T17:49:00.001-07:002017-04-02T17:49:51.522-07:00I'm a Bad Mom (Or, Down with the Mommy Guilt) <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Message Header"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Salutation"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Date"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Block Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Hyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="FollowedHyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Document Map"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Plain Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="E-mail Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Top of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Bottom of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal (Web)"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Acronym"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Cite"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Code"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Definition"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Keyboard"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Sample"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Typewriter"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Variable"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Table"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation subject"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="No List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Contemporary"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Elegant"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Professional"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Balloon Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Theme"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="List Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="List Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="List Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
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<br />
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While watching “Bad Moms” with my husband this afternoon
(the second time I’ve seen it since it came out) I caught myself thinking over
and over again-that’s me. I’m a bad mom. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I don’t volunteer at my kids’ schools. (I work two jobs.) </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I don’t spend hours making food for bake sales. (The school
would just reject it anyway, since it doesn’t come with a pre-printed
ingredients label.) </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I refuse to do my kids’ homework. (I suffered through 8<sup>th</sup>
grade algebra, you can too.) </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I don’t buy or pack my kids organic foods. (There are a few
we splurge on, but seriously. That shit’s expensive.) </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I make my daughter walk to and from her afterschool
activities. (We live less than a mile away, she’s got this.) </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I don’t sign my kids up for a million activities. (Been
there. Done that. Have the ulcer.) </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
For the most part, I think we’re doing okay. My kids are
good people who are growing up to be great. They take in strays and donate to charity
and are kind to people they meet. Sure, we have our blips along the way, but
for the most part they’re growing up to be pretty awesome adults. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">So enough with the
mom guilt. </b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Seriously? Being a mom these days is ridiculous. Attachment
parenting. Helicopter parenting. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Corporal punishment. People calling CPS for
your kids playing outside in the lawn. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Don’t tell your kids no. I would seriously love to know who
came up with that one. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheIwPWstbJzRgryY8r7n3VayNoaQpsYabSyd7ClrnNj0kx2LnpYMp5CT4YOdraI8iml8EvN8u_Ga4dP_mQib8OOu5li3OAYi2H6KbSndKndABvwBzVR9cAM9jfCczubwciEpH-zXBJF_g/s1600/Fed+is+Best.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="224" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheIwPWstbJzRgryY8r7n3VayNoaQpsYabSyd7ClrnNj0kx2LnpYMp5CT4YOdraI8iml8EvN8u_Ga4dP_mQib8OOu5li3OAYi2H6KbSndKndABvwBzVR9cAM9jfCczubwciEpH-zXBJF_g/s320/Fed+is+Best.png" width="320" /></a>If you’re a stay at home mom (or a homeschooling one), your
kids don’t socialize enough. If you’re a working mom and your kids go to
school/daycare, you’re letting someone else raise your kids. Tell them to wash
their hands, you’re turning them into germophobes. Let them run around dirty,
you’re not teaching them to be healthy. Breastfeeding mom? Bottlefeeding mom?
Oh, the vultures on the Internet can chase after that one for days. #fedisbest</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Healthy dinners. Hand packed lunches. Make crafts for kids’
birthday parties. The list of what we as moms are expected to do for our kids goes
on, and on, and on, and…</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And that’s before you start talking about keeping the house
clean, getting back to your pre-baby body in six weeks or less, or any number
of other things that we as women are expected to achieve. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My point is, as parents, we are never going to be good
enough. It’s time to stop. Stop staying up late and getting up early. Time to
stop running our kids around all day without having two seconds to ourselves.
Stop planning our days down to the last minute without any cushion for when
things blow up. (Like, say, when the dog has vertigo and you have to jump up
every three seconds and carry him outside!) </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And for pete’s sake, stop holding yourselves, and each
other, to unrealistic standards. Put away the judgement sticks. Stop trolling
the Internet. We’re all in this thing called Parenthood together. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Reneehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04433053001230927650noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6309855115602137306.post-7670386129479436002017-02-10T07:24:00.002-08:002017-04-02T17:50:42.315-07:00POTS Stinks<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Let me start by saying I tip my hat to all the parents out
there who have children with chronic illnesses, disabilities and special needs.
It’s exhausting, and you guys are rockstars!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If you’re new to the blog (and let’s be honest, I update so
infrequently it’s a miracle anyone is here at all!) let me catch you up. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
About two years ago, Princess C was diagnosed with
dysautonomia and borderline <a href="http://minionmadness.blogspot.com/2016/02/homeschooling-is-exhausting.html" target="_blank">POTS (Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome)</a>.
For those of you not familiar with the medical jargon, it means the part of her
nervous system that controls her body’s automatic functions, like her heart
rate, the ability of her veins to constrict, how her GI system processes food,
and her breathing, doesn’t quite work right. She’s considered borderline POTS
because she has all the symptoms, but they aren’t quite severe enough to meet
diagnostic criteria. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It took us about a year to really get her symptoms under
control, during which we homeschooled, and physically she was doing well. So well, in fact, that we decided
to send her back to public school. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Since then, it’s basically been a nightmare. Her symptoms
have been relentless, and I think she’s missed almost as much school as she’s
gone to. Although her last report card said she only missed six days of school.
I think someone fudged the paperwork somewhere :P </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We have an appointment with her specialist next week to see
if we can get some accommodations for school. Some days, she’s just too down to
go to school. Fainting, vomiting, that sort of thing. But then she has those
in-between days-what we’ve dubbed her “dizzy days”-where she’s lightheaded and
unsteady on her feet, but fully capable of sitting in a chair and following
along in class. Which I know because we’re still doing her at-home Spanish classes
through the <a href="https://spanish.academy/" target="_blank">Spanish Homeschool Academy</a>, and I’ve only had to cancel a few of
them. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Until we get those accommodations, however, we’re still
playing the absenteeism game. Which means long stretches of days where she
needs someone to make sure she gets liquids and foods and safely to and from
the bathroom, while we’re both agonizing over the amount of school she’s missed
and wondering if this is going to be the day we get the call from CPS. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I don’t think it will happen-she’s got a GREAT principal
this year (she’s in Jr High now) who has worked closely with her physicians to
get her back in school. She was actually Mr. A’s third grade teacher, and we
LOVED her. But the year she was sick and in and out of the hospital without a
diagnosis, she missed so much class it was “mentioned” more than once. Right
along with holding her back, despite her grades being high enough that she was
still on the honor roll. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We were all stressed out and on edge until one of the nurse
practitioners at her pediatrician’s office said enough was enough, pulled her
out and got her a tutor. When she did go back, it was half days only for the
rest of the year. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Know who told us a tutor was an option? Her doctor’s office.
Know who told us half days was an option? Her doctor’s office. Know who didn’t
tell us diddly, and made it sound like we were going to get a visit from CPS,
and told us that having a tutor for an extended length of time wasn’t an option
and if that was the case, we needed to homeschool? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The elementary school. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
To be fair, homeschooling for a year did turn out to be an excellent
option while we got a treatment plan in place. She was able to take days off as
needed, and work at her own pace around doctor’s visits and PT. We all
appreciated the huge breath of relief it gave us not to be agonizing over
whether or not she was going to make it to school that day. It would have been
nice, however, had we not been made to feel like that was our ONLY option. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Oh! You’re probably sitting there wondering why we
re-enrolled her in the first place in homeschool was such a good choice. The
problem was, Princess C is a social creature. She loves being active, and
really needs to be around people and get involved in extracurricular activities.
With her dad working full time, and me working two jobs and going to nursing
school, she wasn’t getting that. Once she started feeling better, it wasn’t
doing great things for her coping skills. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She’s been MUCH happier since going back to public school.
They set up her schedule so her best friend is in almost all her classes (not
sure if that was a great idea or an awful one, but the girls are happy with
it!). She was chosen for select chorus, and has a part in the school play. It’s
exactly the sort of school experience she needed. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSkrocPNBEQbabvr85t7Or0PwgU-HWQyT5nI9MDtMIjbK1StcbUvZChm1NaK1aRUVywrKamW_meWOIcgp7l72-RP7l2zM2KpIxbYfREVK0ltE3GucrVlfuJnA4tbIAG0eYMoeS9WGz7Uk/s1600/DOne.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSkrocPNBEQbabvr85t7Or0PwgU-HWQyT5nI9MDtMIjbK1StcbUvZChm1NaK1aRUVywrKamW_meWOIcgp7l72-RP7l2zM2KpIxbYfREVK0ltE3GucrVlfuJnA4tbIAG0eYMoeS9WGz7Uk/s320/DOne.jpg" width="320" /></a>After having her home sick for the better part of the last
two weeks, however, we’re all exhausted. Thank goodness it’s the weekend. I
have to take G-money for a placement test for the STEM program tomorrow
morning, but after that we have the rest of the weekend to rest and recharge. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
POTS stinks. </div>
Reneehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04433053001230927650noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6309855115602137306.post-89839718986493499572016-02-26T05:38:00.001-08:002016-02-26T05:38:13.875-08:00How to Get Teenagers Out of Bed!<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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Okay, look. I remember trying to get out of bed in the
morning as a teenager. It wasn’t fun. I didn’t like doing it. But I’m pretty
sure my parents never had to all but sit on my head to get me to school in the
morning!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Fast forward a dozen years or so, and now I have the
teenager that doesn’t sleep well, doesn’t wake up to an alarm and waits until
the last possible second to roll out of bed in the morning, often making
himself late in the process. This year has been the worst. It used to be we
could poke him to get him up somewhere between 6:30 and 7; that way, even if he
dawdled, he’d still be ready in time. This year he insists on staying in bed
until 7:40 when school starts at 8. </div>
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</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1lGV6Uy4YUGXmxClkUKjUTuoiV8DWHjI0NcD931Olxjyog2JpMq6MpGn8Z7U03-FpQCUMZMe70XAoFlqvDobi89ICTYrRsBNhifMUh0pXF6-esa_svLgTumspYD1hpoB_E8G0g-8AIyQ/s1600/Frustrated.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1lGV6Uy4YUGXmxClkUKjUTuoiV8DWHjI0NcD931Olxjyog2JpMq6MpGn8Z7U03-FpQCUMZMe70XAoFlqvDobi89ICTYrRsBNhifMUh0pXF6-esa_svLgTumspYD1hpoB_E8G0g-8AIyQ/s320/Frustrated.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Honey, I understand completely. </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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The winter weather has been…well, winter in the Northeast. I
can’t say it’s the worst I’ve ever seen, but it certainly hasn’t been warm and
toasty. Since he’s at the high school and can’t ride the bus anymore, we’ve
been giving both the boys a ride to school in the morning. That way, G-money
only has to make the scoot from the house to the car instead of standing at the
bus stop, and instead of walking almost a mile before the sun’s had a chance to
warm everything up Mr. A can catch a ride in a vehicle that’s at least slightly
warmer than the outside. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This morning he wasn’t doing it though, and with company to
get to school on time (we babysat for a friend last night) I just gave up. Dad
drove the three that were ready up to school, and Mr. A walked when he was
ready. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It took me a while, but I finally figured it out. The
problem is, the school’s been lenient with his tardiness so far. So much so
that even though I spoke with the principal earlier this year and encouraged the
school to begin implementing some consequences for his tardiness, it hasn’t
happened yet. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If the school doesn’t care if he’s late, why am I making
myself nuts in the morning? </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yes, I know. It’s a matter of good habits and ethics and all
that good parenting stuff I’m supposed to be doing. I get that. But honestly?
He isn’t five anymore. I can’t pick him up out of bed and carry him to the
door, and short of that I’m tired of trying. I figure today’s going to become
the gold standard, with a few changes. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I think a new alarm clock needs to
happen, and he needs to get himself out of bed. And I think we need to
implement a time past which we will NOT be making the drive up to school. Being
driven to school is a privilege he needs to earn, and if he doesn’t want a ride
I see no reason to roll myself out the door in the morning…no matter how
entertaining driving into the school parking lot in my PJ’s happens to be. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Moms with teens, am I missing something here? Does someone
out there have any awesome tips for getting teenagers out the door in the
morning? Or are we all in this together? </div>
Reneehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04433053001230927650noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6309855115602137306.post-37420956904080783962016-02-17T20:12:00.001-08:002016-02-17T20:14:44.522-08:00Homeschooling is Exhausting<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You know how sometimes you have this idea in your head of
how something’s going to work, and then it works, and it’s just how you thought
it would be? And you know how the other 99% of the time, it’s a giant mess and
you’re left scrambling to adjust your expectations and figure out how to pick
up the pieces and put together something that’s going to get you through?<br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yeah-that’s me and the story of homeschooling right now. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
It sounded like such a good idea when it started. Princess C
was diagnosed last spring with dysautonomia-borderline POTS, to be precise. I
know I haven’t said a lot about it here. When it happened we were barely keeping our heads above water, and I'd be lying if I said I was any saner now. To be honest, it’s been a struggle.
She’s sick one day out of three every month, and while it’s getting better we’ve
still got a long way to go. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.potsuk.org/images/stickman-pots.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="http://www.potsuk.org/images/stickman-pots.png" border="0" class="transparent" src="http://www.potsuk.org/images/stickman-pots.png" height="320" width="120" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Image found at, and created by, PotsUK.org. It's a PERFECT representation of a POTS flareup.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
POTS flare ups are awful. If you're not familiar with the disease, it involves a disorder of the autonomic nervous system-the one that controls your heart rate, breathing and digestion, among other things. So when things go wrong, they go terribly wrong. She’s dizzy. She’s sick to her
stomach. She gets headaches, and walking the ten feet from her bed to the
bathroom leaves her absolutely exhausted. And she has to have someone standing
right next to her when she makes that ten foot trek from the bed to the
bathroom, because if she doesn’t there’s always the chance that we’re going to
find her unconscious on the floor. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It took us almost four months from the first time we found
her unconscious to the time when we finally got a diagnosis. I’m not
complaining-we’ve been blessed as far as that goes. The average time from onset
of symptoms to diagnosis for many people with POTS is five years or longer.
Ironically, it was a referral to a teen clinic for depression associated with
being sick and isolated at the height of her illness that led to the diagnosis
in the first place-one of the doctors at the clinic was familiar with the
disorder and diagnosed her immediately.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Months of pain and dizziness, accompanied by endless visits to specialists and therapists, made school attendance a
nightmare, however. I’m going to spare you the details of listening to me rant
and cut it down to this-homeschooling her this year was a better option than
trying to go ten rounds with the school system, especially because she’s still
sick as often as she is. I was kind of excited when we first decided to do it.
I could pick her reading lists, decide what subjects she studied (with an eye
toward state requirements, of course), and help present the information in a
way that would make it interesting and fun. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What I didn’t expect was the uphill battle homeschooling was
going to be when you coupled it with nursing school, going back to work part
time while still picking up freelance writing gigs, and still having two other
children to take care of. She ends up doing a large amount of the learning on
her own, and while academically she’s doing very well the isolation of being
home rather than with her friends (for her) and the stress of trying to keep up
with everything (for me) has made it more nightmare than blessing some days. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m glad we have the opportunity to homeschool her, I really
am. And from an academic standpoint the decision has been the right one.
Unfortunately, her frequent illnesses and my insane schedule mean it’s
difficult to take advantage of many of the homeschool activities and groups
around here. The cost and the amount of time she’s still out sick makes it very
difficult to commit to various homeschool group activities and workshops, since
we never know what she’s going to make it to vs. when she’s going to need to
stay home. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Maybe it’s just a bad night at the end of a bad week, but
right now I’m tired and looking for something-anything-that’s going to keep
this homeschool boat afloat. Moms who homeschool multiples, I tip my hat to
you. You’re amazing. </div>
Reneehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04433053001230927650noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6309855115602137306.post-45939487725819843892015-11-14T16:38:00.004-08:002015-11-14T16:38:46.885-08:0030 Days of Gratitude<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
With the attacks in Paris sitting at the top of my newsfeed,
with Facebook lit up in Red, White and Blue, with Syrian refugees streaming
over the border and universities being bombed and people sleeping in the cold,
it seems small to sit here tonight and think about the many things still to do.
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Because tonight we are warm. We are safe. Tonight I am able
to touch my children and know that they have never gone hungry a day in their
lives. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’ve never been a great believer in the concept of spending
November remembering to be grateful, because gratitude is something that should
be celebrated daily, year round. But tonight, I am tired. I am stressed. I am
two steps away from curling up in a fetal position in the corner, tucking my
knees to my chest and not coming out until January. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Tonight, sitting here at my computer hearing from those in Paris
who are reaching out, I am ashamed. And desperately in need of the reminder of
how truly blessed we are. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So tonight, I want to celebrate thirty days of
gratitude with thirty reminders of how lucky I am to be who I am, where I am,
when I am. And as November passes, and the year passes with it, and days come
when I am tired and stressed and ready to give up, I will remember. I will
remember: </div>
<ol>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>That I have a home that keeps us warm and safe
and dry,</li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>I can go to sleep at night without fear,</li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>I have a family that loves me and stretches
around the world,</li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>My children are healthy,</li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>All of my children live together under my roof,</li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>My husband works hard to make sure our bills are
paid and we never go hungry,</li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>I have the opportunity to go to nursing school
and receive the education I need to do something I love,</li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>I will have the opportunity to do that something
in a manner that benefits my community and, someday, those less fortunate than
I,</li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>In two weeks, I get to start working at a job
that not only pays reasonably well, but that I’m absolutely certain I’ll enjoy,</li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>We have two working vehicles that take us where
we need to go,</li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>There is money in the bank if something breaks,</li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Our refrigerator and pantry are full,</li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>We have good health insurance,</li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Because we have good health insurance, I’ll
never have to choose between paying the bills and getting my children the care
and medications they need,</li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>We have the opportunity to offer four cats a
better life,</li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>We are able to sponsor and get to know a lovely
young woman that lives half a world away,</li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>We live near enough to a large urban area that
we’re never lacking for healthcare or dental providers,</li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>We live far enough away from a large urban area
that I’m not afraid to let my kids play outside,</li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>We have electricity and indoor plumbing,</li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Because my husband’s job pays for our internet,
we always have a connection to the world,</li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>I have shelves upon shelves of books to read,</li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>And I have plenty of time to read them,</li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>I am able to read, and write, and learn,</li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Our circle of friends is large and diverse and
always there for us,</li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Should anything happen to me, I know my kids
would be in good hands,</li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>We live close enough to family that we can visit
whenever we want,</li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>There is music in our lives,</li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Outside, my flowers and trees and raspberries
grow every year,</li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>There is yoga, and people to do it with,</li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>And most importantly, I know without a doubt
that I am loved. </li>
</ol>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This November, this day, this year, what are you thankful
for? </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<![endif]-->Reneehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04433053001230927650noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6309855115602137306.post-25337108961956293102015-08-28T17:40:00.001-07:002015-08-28T17:40:13.469-07:00How Nursing School is Teaching Me I Don't Have to be Perfect<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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Rolling into the end of the first week back at nursing
school and I…am…whipped. I also realized something last night, something
important that I want to bounce off the rest of you mamas out there. See, I’m
32 years old. My oldest son starts high school this year, which means he’ll be
a sophomore before I have my nursing license in hand. If I continue my
education any further, we’re going to end up going to college together. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdPbHjO4iM5GwZYntxypdsmlc7xhXeHpTzT4GofkIPwssybTPrcDNwId2k3AINIvTI3Rdk_3sDqHxz88GADPzP6mHEpSKGp49_IFSBG7-YPxgIBhrcIuZHIeR5ux5BwcV7F2ZwYt0fSKY/s1600/Future+RN.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdPbHjO4iM5GwZYntxypdsmlc7xhXeHpTzT4GofkIPwssybTPrcDNwId2k3AINIvTI3Rdk_3sDqHxz88GADPzP6mHEpSKGp49_IFSBG7-YPxgIBhrcIuZHIeR5ux5BwcV7F2ZwYt0fSKY/s1600/Future+RN.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I realized last night that although I’m excited to be going
back to school, I’m also embarrassed. Embarrassed to still be a student at this
stage in my life. Embarrassed to be seeking an associate’s degree to begin
gainful employment at the point where my peers have completed their education-or,
if they haven’t, are looking at graduate degrees while building their career. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My kids’ pediatrician is my age, and one of the girls I went
to middle school with is a dermatologist with her own practice. And here I am. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Now, intellectually, I know there’s nothing wrong with this.
I slipped in and out of college as my kids were born. I worked for a number of
years in a job that allowed me to work from home from the time my youngest was
born until he was in second grade. I’m not the oldest in my class by any
means-there are a number of women who are re-entering the workforce after
staying home with their kids, and many more who are switching careers like I
am. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have three beautiful, fun, well-mannered, well-rounded
children. I’m celebrating my 12<sup>th</sup> wedding anniversary this year. We
own our home, and while money is tight the fact that I’m working sporadically
while going back to school isn’t killing us financially. All in all, I’m in a
good place in life. And yet part of me feels like I have something to be ashamed
of, and that, I think, is due largely in part to the way I feel I should
measure my success. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
At this point, I feel like I should be as financially sound
as my friends without children, as well-educated as those that spent their
twenties getting doctorate degrees and MDs, my house should be as clean and
organized and decorated as Home and Garden, I should be as crafty as all those
moms out there that actually have…well…talent (because God knows my daughter
sure didn’t get her crafting skills from me) and as engaged in my kids’
classrooms and education and activities as moms who have one child they’ve been
at home with since the day they were born. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And I wonder why I’m stressed. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Right now, I need to take a step back and think, really
think, about what success means-and make it personal to ME, not to anyone
around me. For me, right now, success means doing well enough in nursing school
that I pass my licensing exam and have no trouble being accepted into a
bachelor’s and, eventually, nurse practitioner program. It means keeping the
house clean enough and organized enough that I’m a raging, raving mess by the
end of the week. (I learned last semester that a messy house and an empty
fridge really stress me out. You don’t even know.) </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s having time every night to sit down and eat dinner with
my family, and being able to watch an episode of something on TV and tuck my
kids in at night. It’s taking Princess C to dance and going to Open House at
the elementary and high school on Open House night. It’s seeing the boys do
well, and mastering homeschooling to the point where Princess C both enjoys
herself and learns at the level I know she’s capable of. It’s saving up enough
money to take a vacation someplace besides our parents’ houses, and maybe
actually get that rickety garage pulled down sometime before Mother Nature does
the job for me. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
These are my goals, and they’re the ones I need to use to
measure my success-not anyone else’s. It’s past time I stop expecting myself to
be perfect and start expecting myself to be me. </div>
Reneehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04433053001230927650noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6309855115602137306.post-45316899645015141702015-08-16T04:16:00.000-07:002015-08-16T04:16:02.620-07:00Back to School! (Dear lord, here we go again...)<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Hello! Oh, it feels good to be blogging again. For those of
you who follow the blog, I’m sorry I’ve been out of touch. When I hopped on
this morning to look, my last blog post was December of last year. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A month before I finally started my first semester of
nursing school. Coincidence? I think not! There’s nothing quite like nursing
school to suck every last ounce of time and sanity, and make entire months fly
by. Don’t get me wrong. I love every second of it. I am WAY past excited to
have passed my first semester and be moving into my second, and am greatly
looking forward to finishing school 18 months from now (<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">finally</i>) and become an official part of the healthcare team in our
community. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But while it feels like nursing school is consuming my life
right now, I still have the usual rigamarole of parenting on my plate,
including (but not limited to)…drumroll please…</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
BACK TO SCHOOL!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<img alt="Back To School" class="rrcont" data-id="2167203" data-type="1" height="387" src="https://img.memecdn.com/back-to-school_o_2167203.jpg" width="500" /> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yep, you know what I’m talking about. Rolling into the end
of August, it seems like there’s a never ending line of back to school nights
and freshman orientation (dear god when did I get a kid old enough to go to
high school?) and supply drop offs. Not to mention shopping for school supplies
in the first place. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We’re home schooling Princess C this year due to some
medical issues that made school an absolute nightmare for us last year. This
is a never-before-tried endeavor that I’m sure you’re going to find as
entertaining as we are. Or at least, I hope you will, or you’re probably going
to get sick of hearing me complain about it. For the record, I take donations
of wine and chocolate any time. I’m also happy to share. So when your own
nerves are stretched to the limit, come on over! </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The boys, however, will be going back to public school. Mr.
A because he’s starting high school, which means Regents classes, and G-money because
the thought of having to homeschool more than one child on top of working part
time and going to school is enough to induce a full blown migraine just
thinking about it, and he doesn’t really want to home school anyway. Which
means it’s time to do the annual back to school shopping thing. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m one of those psycho parents that does all of their
school supply shopping in July, mostly because I know if I wait until August
there’s going to be a huge crowd of people everywhere I go and they’re going to
be out of what I need. And there’s always that one thing that the kids need
that no one on the planet actually carries, so I have to take the plunge and
order it online. Which usually means Amazon and two day delivery, but every
once in a while we actually find something that Amazon doesn’t carry and have
to order it regular express. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">A note for all Amazon
Prime Members: There are certain things you can order on Amazon and, if you
select regular shipping instead of two day Prime shipping, you can score a $5
credit toward Amazon pantry items. I’m working on stocking mine up for
Christmas as we speak!</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
School clothes shopping is another story altogether.
Somehow, even though my kids are finally hitting that point where I can
reasonably predict what they’re going to be wearing next year, I still can’t
get ahead of the clothing shopping curve. It’s insane. Instead of stocking up
on clearance items, I inevitably end up paying full price for things they’re
going to have outgrown by Christmas anyway.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Which is another topic altogether. A friend of mine asked me
an interesting question the other day, and one I hadn’t really ever put a whole
lot of thought into. How many school outfits do you usually buy for your kids
for the new school year? </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When reviewing, I realized that we have a general trend when
it comes to school clothes shopping. I clean out everything in their drawers that
doesn’t fit (which ends up being just about everything) and then shop until
they have five full outfits, one set of dress clothes for concerts, and in
Princess C’s case, at least one, sometimes two “girlie” dresses or skirt sets
for if she feels like dressing up. The boys get a pair of sneakers and a pair
of boots, and Princess C grabs sneakers and some kind of dress shoe. (Her red
boots are the favorite right now.) </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What's on your usual school clothes shopping list? Feel free to share in the comments, along with any awesome tips or tricks you have about saving money while you do it-because let's face it, with the price of things these days, we parents need all the help we can get!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Thanks for listening to me ramble. My goal is to invest more
time blogging this year than I did last, and I look forward to sharing more of
our misadventures with you! Have a fantastic week guys. </div>
Reneehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04433053001230927650noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6309855115602137306.post-25505090090188165962014-12-07T08:55:00.000-08:002014-12-07T08:55:41.804-08:00Why ALL Parents Need to Have "The Talk" with Their Children About Guns and Law Enforcement<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;">
</div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
No one asks to be
shot.</div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
No one asks to die.</div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
No one asks to lose
their life at the tender age of 12 for playing with a toy gun.</div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
No one asks to be murdered by a child of 12.</div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
No one asks to be
shot in the line of duty.</div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
No one asks to serve
and protect in a world where you can’t trust a 12 year old not to pick up a gun
and fire.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
No one asks for any of these things, and yet they're happening. Every. Single. Day. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There’s a lot being said about the shooting of young Tamir
Rice at a playground, where a bystander called 911 because the boy had an
airsoft gun in the park. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="http://cdn.abclocal.go.com/content/kabc/images/cms/417787_630x354.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="undefined" border="0" src="http://cdn.abclocal.go.com/content/kabc/images/cms/417787_630x354.jpg" height="179" width="320" /></a>A “toy” gun with no markings to distinguish it from a real
firearm. A gun that looked real enough to cause bystanders concern. Even if the
individual that called 911 believed it was “probably fake”, there was enough
uncertainty in his mind to call emergency services in the first place. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The operator failed to relay the individual’s belief that
the gun may have been a toy to the officers that responded-and I’m not sure it
would have made a difference. In a world of school shootings and movie theatre
shootings and children of 12 committing abuse and homicide, officers cannot be
too careful.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The officer who first saw Rice reported that he was a black
male of approximately 20 years of age. There are those who want, badly, to
focus on the first part of that description-that he was a black male. The truth
is, had he been a white male, that’s what the cop would have said. The
important part of this was that the officers responding to the scene didn’t
know they were dealing with a child. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’ve never been able to see what it was that prompted the
officer to shoot. Not because I’m looking for a specific viewpoint, but because
the video is bad and my eyes suck. I can’t tell if Rice pointed the gun toward
the officer. I can’t tell if he tried to lay it down. What I do know is the
police treated a 12 year old with a gun as an armed and dangerous criminal. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
While I would like to say the cops clearly overreacted, the
truth is, the society we live in has its share of dangerous juvenile offenders.
It’s entirely possible the officers on the scene believed Rice had a real
weapon and had turned to fire at them, and acted accordingly. I’m not saying it’s
right. I’m not saying it’s fair. I’m certainly not saying the twelve year old
brought it upon itself, which seems to be the default position of anyone not
screaming “murderer” at these cops. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The ending of this story could have been much, much
different if the officers had spent just a little more time assessing the
scene. However, had Rice’s weapon been a real one, as the police believed at
the time, the story could have had another ending.We could have been adding another name to the list of names to the 20,000 officers on the memorial to those who died in the line of duty.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There are a lot of numbers rolling around, but here’s one I
haven’t seen shared with the media yet. </div>
As of
December 2<sup>nd</sup>, 107 officers had died in the line of duty in 2014. This
doesn’t take into account officers killed while off duty, and it doesn’t tally
injuries received while on duty. If an officer is shot and ends up in intensive
care, if a corrections officer is badly beaten by an inmate and is sent to the hospital,
those numbers aren’t counted. Bruises, broken ribs, broken jaws. Those numbers
aren’t counted.There's a document stating that more than 50,000 assaults on officers occurred during 2014, and even the people who published the report admitted those numbers were woefully under reported. According to the DA in San Bernadino county, there were 23,000 assaults on officers in that region alone.<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Here’s another number for you. 70%. That’s the increase in
the number of officers killed by firearms during 2014. 70% more officers were shot
and killed in the line of duty this year than last year. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
70%. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Our personal life experiences shape the way we look at
situations. As someone with family and friends in law enforcement, I understand
only too well the sick clenching in the gut that comes when you hear an officer
is attacked. When a prison your friend works at makes the news, and all you can
do is hope and pray that they weren’t among the injured. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I understand the caution and yes, the fear that officers and
their families exercise and feel every moment of every day, wondering if they’re
going to become victims themselves-not because of the color of their skin, but
because of the color of their uniform. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I can’t say I understand or can wrap my head around the
shooting of Tamir Rice, but I can see how it happened.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m a mother. My oldest son is 13, a year older than Rice, and
the thought of losing him due to a misunderstanding and bad circumstances breaks
my heart. I know, however, that the best thing I can do to keep my kids safe is
to strike back at the many, many things that led to Tamir Rice being in the
situation he was in the first place. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And so, I will teach my children gun safety. I will teach
them that toy guns should look like toy guns, and to leave the ones that do not
on the shelf. I will teach them that BB guns and air guns should only be used
under the close supervision of an adult, and should be handled with the same
respect you would show a real gun. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I will teach them that guns are not toys the way that race
cars and baseballs are toys, and there are deadly consequences for treating
them that way. I will teach them that if a police officer asks them to do
something, they should obey. Immediately. Silently. There will be time for
questions and explanations when the situation is calm.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And I will ask the toy companies to help me in this. Because
they are not blameless. By manufacturing toy guns that look like real guns,
they are helping to put our children in harm’s way. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Because an officer cannot stand in front of a twelve year
old holding a gun and assume that the gun, and the child, are harmless. I wish
they could, but they can’t. Law enforcement will continue to be cautious,
sometimes overly so. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We as parents MUST take the responsibility to ensure that
our kids stay safe. </div>
Reneehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04433053001230927650noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6309855115602137306.post-6421851813744869482014-12-03T08:30:00.003-08:002014-12-03T08:38:22.901-08:00How to Help a Depressed Teen<div style="text-align: left;">
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<i>A quick note to readers: This post reflects my experiences with depression, and may not be applicable to every case. If you feel your teen is in immediate danger of committing suicide, contact law enforcement or your health care provider and let them know. </i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>Depression IS a disease, and like any disease, it claims its due. The information in this article is to help parents prevent teen suicide. Please understand, however, that sometimes there really was nothing more you could have done. If you are the parent of a teen who has committed suicide, it doesn't mean you have failed-as a parent, and as a person. I share these thoughts with you in the hope that they, and your personal experiences, will help you reach out to others in your community. </i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<i> </i> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
Earlier this year, a friend of mine lost his nineteen year
old son to depression and suicide. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
I look at my children, now entering those difficult teenage
years, and like so many parents, I am afraid. I am afraid of what these years
are going to bring us. No one should ever have to bury a child. I can only
imagine that family’s pain and loss.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
I can, however, understand, intimately, the pain his son
felt in those final days before he took his own life. Depression has been an
enemy I have fought for what feels like my whole life, and it’s an enemy that
too few people ever truly understand. Because it’s sneaky. Like diabetes, it’s
chronic-some days will be better than others, but you’re never truly “cured”.
It’s always sitting in the wings, waiting. Perched to pounce the minute you
make a mistake, or have a bad day, or start feeling overwhelmed. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
I can’t bring the Fiorellas’ son back, although I
desperately wish that I could. I wish that I could look that young man in the
face and be able to tell him, I understand. I’ve been there. I know this road
you’re walking. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
You’re right-you’re never going to get off this road. You’re
never going to be the carefree person that you want to be. You’re never going
to see life through the same lenses your friends do, no matter how hard you
try. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
But if you’re willing to fight, if you’re willing to reach
out, it can get better. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Because I can’t do that, I want to share the lessons I’ve
learned through a lifetime of depression with other parents like Sam. Like
myself. Parents who watch their teens grow and wonder what they’re going to do
if the black spectre of depression comes to claim them. Parents of teens with
depression who feel helpless to bring their children out of the hell they’ve
made their home. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBPbEcKK1k_Uuvfu2w0n81UzCkyV9dG86j4fzPrAeSRfsDJE-4WKF9gEPNJlYqxlktr2-2S5DbFGGdLlXEmuRfnRkC3b39c6QMA_032OkeLmxCyJNRaRRO5ZaFvNMJLIpqXSApphW73Ns/s1600/Depression.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBPbEcKK1k_Uuvfu2w0n81UzCkyV9dG86j4fzPrAeSRfsDJE-4WKF9gEPNJlYqxlktr2-2S5DbFGGdLlXEmuRfnRkC3b39c6QMA_032OkeLmxCyJNRaRRO5ZaFvNMJLIpqXSApphW73Ns/s1600/Depression.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBPbEcKK1k_Uuvfu2w0n81UzCkyV9dG86j4fzPrAeSRfsDJE-4WKF9gEPNJlYqxlktr2-2S5DbFGGdLlXEmuRfnRkC3b39c6QMA_032OkeLmxCyJNRaRRO5ZaFvNMJLIpqXSApphW73Ns/s1600/Depression.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
Parents, you CAN help. But before you can help, you need to
understand. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Understand </b>that
your child needs you to listen, not talk. As parents, we want to share our life
experiences with our children. We hope through our experiences, they’ll be
spared from learning some lessons the hard way. But your child with depression
isn’t walking the same road you did. They need to be able to share THEIR road
with YOU.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Understand </b>that
your child needs to be freed from your expectations for them. People with
depression believe one of two things: Failure is inevitable, or failure is
unacceptable. Either way, they feel shoehorned into a position where they have
no right to be human. To try new things. To make mistakes. To them, criticism
and encouragement are fatal in equal measure, because both make them feel as
though they have failed in being themselves. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Understand</b> that
right now, they are incapable of being happy. It’s not that they’re choosing to
be morose and dramatic. It’s not that they’re choosing to be critical or
miserable or apathetic. Their minds are choosing it for them. The person who is
severely depressed feels apathetic on their best days and like they’re going to
fall apart on their worst. Which is why they need you to…</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Understand </b>that
their feelings need to be validated. It’s too easy to look at their lives and
think, “What do you have to be depressed about? You’re a kid. This is the best
time of your life!” They know that. They understand, through the message you
send, that they are expected to be happy and carefree. And so that’s the face
they put on, for your benefit, for their friends, for their teachers. Then they
leave you swinging in the wind when they explode, having bottled their feelings
up to the point where they literally cannot take it anymore. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
If your child is
angry, let them be angry, even if what they’re angry about seems ridiculous to
you. (I once sat and cried for an hour because I couldn’t get a sweater to stay
on a hanger.) If they are sad, let them be sad. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Understand </b>that
depression is as insidious as cancer…but no one judges a cancer patient for
getting chemo. Depression, and other mental illnesses, still carry too much
stigma. For a period of time in my twenties, I was on antidepressants following
a major breakdown. I told no one I was going to the doctor, didn’t even tell my
husband I was on antidepressants until months later. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
It was too embarrassing to
admit that I needed help to get through the day. I was humiliated that I was
carrying so many fewer burdens than people I knew, and I still couldn’t handle
it. People with depression are embarrassed and scared to ask for help. They
need you to encourage them to seek medical care. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Understand </b>that
people with depression feel isolated. They feel like no one understands them. Watch
out for teens who appear to be “good listeners”, always listening to their
friends and family and sharing little about their own lives. Beware if it seems
as though your teen is always deflecting the conversation away from themselves.
It may not be because they’re shy, or modest. It may be because they don’t see
the point. No one is going to care anyway. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Understand </b>that “I
don’t understand what’s wrong with you!” is the worst thing you can say to a
teen with depression. To anyone with depression. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Especially when it’s followed up with bits of
parental wisdom like, “You’re a kid! What do you have to worry about?” Or, “You
have a roof over your head, food on your plate. You have a thousand dollar
computer. You have everything!” This will only push them away. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Understand</b> that teens
with depression need to take things day to day-sometimes minute by minute. Long
term planning may literally be too much for them. Big projects are overwhelming-to
this day I still have to break my to-do lists into teeny tiny micropieces that
don’t take more than a few minutes each, then write them down so I can check
them off in order to feel like I’m accomplishing something, even if that
something barely scratches the surface. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
The severely depressed may need help walking through their
tasks one at a time, and learning that what they’re doing right then is the
only thing they need to think about. Multi-step instructions like get out of
bed, take a shower, eat breakfast, brush your teeth and get on the bus may seem
overwhelming. Cleaning their entire room may literally be more than they can
handle. (Especially if it looks anything like mine used to.) </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
Be willing to be flexible. Let chores wait until another day
if they have a lot of homework. Help them with tasks that are usually their
responsibility if you see them struggling. I promise you, they need the helping
hand more than they need the reminder of what their responsibilities are.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Understand</b> that your
teen has to know they can come to you. Pushing someone with depression to talk
about their depression leaves them feeling trapped. Not pushing them, on the
other hand, can leave them feeling like you don’t really care. It’s a lose-lose
situation….but it doesn’t have to be. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
If you have a teen who suffers from depression, it’s up to
you to open the door. Spend time with them alone, in a low stress environment.
Encourage non-specific conversation about their lives, and ask them questions
that make them know they’re the center of your attention. I know it’s almost
instinctive, as parents, to remind teens that the world doesn’t revolve around
them, but the teen with depression sometimes needs to feel like it does. “What
do you want?” is a big one-often people who are living with depression are too
wrapped up in day to day survival to worry about the future. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
It can be hard, at times, to feel like they have one. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
Reneehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04433053001230927650noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6309855115602137306.post-63868794324312391762014-08-01T14:03:00.000-07:002014-08-01T14:15:53.499-07:00An Open Letter of Apology to My Pediatrician<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
To Our Amazing, Wonderful Pediatric Providers: <br />
<br />
You see me, and other mothers like me, in your office every
day. Overtired, under-caffeinated, without
two brain cells to rub together to have a real conversation, looking at you
with desperate eyes, expecting you to magically fix whatever brought us there
in the first place. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I see you once or twice (or five or six times) a month
twelve months out of the year, so you know my face. But you don’t know me. In
fact, there’s a good chance we’ve never met. Because that woman in your office?
She’s not really me. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m not really that crazy.<br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img alt="Pediatrician Need a Drink Toddler T-Shirt" class="templateimage" src="http://i1.cpcache.com/product/205009146/pediatrician_need_a_drink_toddler_tshirt.jpg?color=BabyBlue&height=460&width=460&qv=90" height="200" id="templateimage" itemprop="image" name="mainimg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="200" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>This is how I pretty much figure our pediatrician feels after every visit. (T-shirt for sale at Zazzle.com)</i></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td><td 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</tbody></table>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Please understand, by the time we make it to your office, I’m
usually on day three or four (or ten) of not nearly enough sleep, often buried
under the guilt of missed work hours and trapped in a house with a sick, whining,
clingy, fussy child who is all too aware of the fact that I’ve failed as a
parent. It doesn’t matter how magical or mysterious my mommy powers may seem
when I can produce another lollipop out of my purse or immediately recognize ‘who
started it’ from two rooms away. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Those magical mommy powers are useless here. I can’t make
whatever is wrong with them go away. They need you…</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
…But they don’t want you, because even though you’re
wonderful, and the kids really like you (I swear they do), you are the bringer
of shots and things that taste yucky, and therefore should be avoided at all
costs. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A typical visit to your office begins with me crawling
bleary-eyed out of bed 30 minutes after the child that screamed all night long
magically falls asleep, punching buttons on the phone I can’t even see, praying
I got the right ones and that you’re there and that you have an opening. The
sooner we get in, the sooner I can give the shrieking devil child that body
snatched my little angel some medication that will make them feel better and
maybe, just maybe, we can both go back to sleep for an hour or two. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You have no idea how badly I want to bake your receptionist
a cake. Or send her flowers. Or buy her the Taj Mahal. Because the minute she
answers the phone and tells me you can squeeze us in, an invisible weight lifts
off my chest. Once we walk through the doors of your office, I don’t have to be
Supermom anymore. You’ll know what to do. All we have to do is get to you, and
so, without showers or breakfast or songs or games or cartoons or coffee or the
million little things that start our day, we pack up and head out the door.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Do you know how much whining and complaining can take place
between my front door and the moment you walk into the examination room? I do.
Right down to the very last clause. It’s too cold. Too boring. Too hot. Too
wet. Too boring. Too dry. It smells funny. It’s too noisy. Too quiet. Too
scary. Too boring. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Did I mention it’s boring to sit and wait instead of
swinging off the bed or the fan or the doorknob like a giant monkey (somehow
they’re never too sick for that) and the only cure for this fatal condition is
to drive mom as insane as humanly possible by tap dancing on her last nerve???
(Hint: Before coffee and a shower, it doesn’t take much.) </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m not writing this to complain. I never mind waiting for
you, because I know once you get to us we’re going to have your full, undivided
attention for as long as we need it. That matters to me. It’s a big part of why
we chose you to be our doctor in the first place. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But I am so, so sorry doctor. Because by the time you walk
into the room, I…am…done. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I really WANT to ask you about your kids, and your garden,
and where you’ve been that you’ve gotten so tan, because I know it wasn’t here.
(Believe me, if there’d been that much sun, I would have noticed.) </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I want to ask where you bought your shoes, and answer your
questions about the book on my lap with the witty enthusiasm I’m known for in
certain circles.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I want to know what you thought about the movie I saw you and
your family at last weekend. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I want to let you chat with my child, because their face
lights up every time you do and they giggle about it for days afterward. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I want to know YOU, because you’re one of the most important
people in my family’s life, and that deserves to be recognized. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This is what I <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">want </i>to
do, but I can’t. The minute you walk into the room my exhausted, tired,
stressed-out brain loses touch with my mouth. Instead of greeting you politely
and asking about your day, which is what I really <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">mean</i> to do…</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
…I hit you with a list of symptoms and complaints, because
by the time you get to the party I just want you to figure out what’s wrong and
write me a prescription so I can get the hell out of there, spend half an hour
at the pharmacy while they explain to me how their e-prescribe didn’t work
(again), call and interrupt your busy day yet again so you can fax it in, go
home, put on cartoons, pour the Gatorade, then hide somewhere for half an hour to
suck down a cup of coffee and gather up what’s left of my mind before I have to
go back out there and be Supermom all over again. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This is when I’m going to start feeling guilty for the way I
once again managed to walk into and out of your office without letting you know
how much I appreciate the fact that you are who you are, and you’re there, and
we’re so lucky to have you. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This is also usually where I come to grips with the fact that
you probably think I’m my own special brand of crazy, and I’m REALLY sorry
about that. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You know what amazes me most, doctor? That you see people
like me all day, every day, and yet you still do what you do. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You are savior and inconvenience, with people looking to you
for answers while at the same time wishing they were anywhere but there. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And yet, you’re still smiling. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Even when your eyes are dark with exhaustion and I can see
how badly you want to be irritated with me, you smile. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Even when I’m being over the top and paranoid in the way
that only a parent can be, you listen. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Even when you’re pretty sure at a glance that nothing is
really wrong and you could be spending those 20 minutes sitting at your desk
instead of on your exhausted feet, you do a full exam, order tests and follow
up, just to be sure. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Even when you don’t have to, and no one expects you to (I
swear, I really didn’t), you once spent the first half of your lunch hour
calling for lab results instead of eating a meal in peace because you knew that
I was waiting, and then spent the second half going over each and every piece
and part and translating every result so I could be informed and involved
rather than patting me on the head, giving me the short story and sending me on
my way so you could enjoy your break. You’ll never know how much that meant to
me. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Even when you have office hours in the morning, when you’re
on call I know you’re going to be understanding while I panic over fevers and
rashes and casts that fall off and a million other little ailments that could
have easily been dealt with in the office the next day.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
No matter how irrational I’m being, or how badly you’d love
to tell me to leave you alone for five fricking minutes so you can think (and
maybe pop an Advil or two for that headache you’ve had brewing all day), I know
you’re going to be patient with me. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Regardless of how long your day has been, or how very <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">much</i> of it is still ahead of you, you smile.
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Do you know what that smile says, doctor? It says, “You’re
not alone. It’s going to be okay. I’m here now, and together, we’re going to
fix this.” </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Right then I want to cry, because thank you isn’t enough to
tell you how much that smile is exactly what I need.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And I’m sorry that I’ve never found the words to say how
much I appreciate it, and you, and everything you do. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
That used to be me. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sitting around the dinner table, listening to moms of
infants and toddlers and babies-yet-to-be, talking about diaper rash and fevers
and agonizing over breast vs bottle. Walking through the park on a hot day and
looking at little babies in cute little outfits and sweaters, with color
coordinated socks and booties. Listening to moms agonizing to pediatricians
about colds and fevers and rashes and what to do when baby won’t eat. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That used to be me-and for the record, Dr. Bradshaw, our
kids’ pediatrician from the time Princess C was about 6 months old until we
moved up here when G-money was three, deserves a gold medal for putting up with
me! </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Thirteen years of parenting later, I wish I could look back
at my younger self and say, “Hey, breathe! Guess </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
what?” </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8Fn-kO7f9FxLUyH2uHVomYWBEWIZloFw_9AhoELCKKBD6JpqO1k7xwBsBavRCxUveNNqrzk3RLGS9K6SbOGfZL9IR4L05kO27piELnI9G9uhLe-dDgcWBTbqZm2O_3hWxX27X3ld3_dY/s1600/Amazing.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8Fn-kO7f9FxLUyH2uHVomYWBEWIZloFw_9AhoELCKKBD6JpqO1k7xwBsBavRCxUveNNqrzk3RLGS9K6SbOGfZL9IR4L05kO27piELnI9G9uhLe-dDgcWBTbqZm2O_3hWxX27X3ld3_dY/s1600/Amazing.jpg" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The world isn’t going to end if the baby’s socks don’t
match. Two kids later, it’s a miracle if the socks have been folded. They
usually end up in a basket somewhere. You’re going to lose half of them. Your
youngest child will delight in wearing one sock pulled up to his knee and one
too short to cover his ankles. “Doesn’t have to match, just has to fit” is
going to become a motto, so you may as well get used to it now. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Your child is not going to be mentally stunted if you can’t
breastfeed. I could have saved myself months of
mental anguish over this. Yes, breast is best, but after 12 more years of
fighting over the fact that peanut butter and jelly was never intended to be
eaten 3 meals a day, the floor is not an efficient food delivery system,
vegetables won’t kill you and tortilla chips aren’t a food group, the whole
issue of breast vs. formula makes its way to the back burner. (Also, you’re
going to have the only kid your doctor has ever seen that manages to self-wean
from the bottle at 8 or 9 months old. You’ve got bigger problems.) </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Mommy and Me classes are so worth it. Not because your kid
needs additional enrichment, which is what you’re going to be worried about at
the time, but because you’re going to need an hour or two out of the day where
someone ELSE is responsible for coming up with ideas to keep your toddler
occupied. Don’t let anyone talk you out of it. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Don’t stress the birth plan. 13 years and two pre-term
c-sections later, you’re going to give up any hope of birth going the way you
wanted it to. You’re barely going to remember most of the details, and the only
time you’re going to talk about it is as a cautionary tale to moms who are
thinking about waiting until the last minute to get an epidural. (Bad idea.
Just saying.) So do your homework, talk about it with your OB/GYN, but don’t
freak out when the plan goes flying out the window. DO, however, start thinking
about whether you want to breast or bottle feed, because that’s going to
determine whether or not you get the good drugs on the way out the door. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s okay to hate being a stay at home mom. After having to
put Mr. A in daycare when he was only a few months old, I was thrilled at the
idea of being able to stay home with Princess C. That lasted 18 months, which
is probably six months longer than it would have if I’d just kicked guilt out
the door and faced up to the fact that some women aren’t meant to be a SAHM. I
worked part time from the time she was a year and a half old until G-money was
in second grade, and that worked out great for all of us. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Naps and sleep schedules matter (knowing when you’re going
to have some adult time is vital for your sanity), but it’s also okay to toss
them to the curb every once in a while. There will be some nights where the
kids just aren’t ready for bed at bedtime for one reason or another, and it’s
easier to toss a movie on and let them lie down in the living room and wind
down than it is to argue with the tossing and turning and cups of water and “I
gotta go!” that are going to still be going on for the next three hours if you
try and send them to bed now. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Get some perspective. Sometimes it’s just not worth the
fight. Learn to pick your battles, and try and give your kids as much
independence and responsibility as possible without turning them into juvenile
delinquents. You’ll all be better for it in the end. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Your husband is the most important relationship you’re ever
going to have. You’re going to be a great mom, and your kids are going to love
you for your patience and adventurousness and the easy-going, laid back manner
you’re going to have one of these days. (Stop laughing. It's going to happen, I swear.) Don’t let being a great mom turn you
into a crappy wife though. Your hubby still needs some time with just you, even
if it’s just curling up with a cup of coffee while the kids watch morning
cartoons. Your kids will learn what to expect from love and marriage by
watching you, so make it good. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Take 20 minutes a day with each kid to just be together. The
dishes will wait. The laundry will wait. People will judge you for your crappy
housekeeping skills, but you know what? It doesn’t matter. What does matter is
that your kids have the chance to be with you, because the bond you form with
them now determines whether or not you’re going to be allowed to hug them in
front of their friends when they get to be teenagers. (And sometimes the answer
is still going to be no, no matter how snuggly they are when they’re at home.
That’s okay too.) </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In short, younger me, chill out. It’s all going to be okay. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Reneehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04433053001230927650noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6309855115602137306.post-9499574792603264542014-02-25T08:23:00.002-08:002014-02-25T08:23:47.900-08:00Decide What You Can Live With<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
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This week I received one of the best pieces of parenting
advice I’ve ever heard. It was from a writer I met several years ago named
Jenny Herman, who writes on a parenting blog called <a href="http://www.manyhatsmommy.com/">Many Hats Mommy</a>. She even
kindly invited me to guest post one time. It’s been several months since I had
time to swing by Many Hats Mommy, but this week was a good one. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This week, I read a post she wrote on <a href="http://manyhatsmommy.com/2014/02/17/clean-childs-room/">cleaning your children’srooms</a>. The best advice there? </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Decide what you can live with. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sure, this applies to keeping a clean room. More about that
in a later post I’ve got coming down the pipe. More importantly, however, it
applies to parenting as a whole. As parents, we want our kids to succeed. We
want to put them on the path to success, and we want to guide them to make sure
they do everything right. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But they won’t. They’re going to make mistakes. They’re
going to struggle for independence. They’re going to push against the mold and
force themselves in another direction. They’re going to break the rules. They’re
going to do things their way. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhw_Qd9l1IIFvUS-vtYgZkD5uZZ5d16gSaxbiW4Jk16bLEk_n4-bgfMPLsZVD1dZ0L2zyNmOwnpgnXI5SEt41wx5hPmqPjWCferPAVuimBlvs0E1RnuBO5eHRCsVaC9S1h9ENzIs19sq-A/s1600/10+Year+Old+Boys.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhw_Qd9l1IIFvUS-vtYgZkD5uZZ5d16gSaxbiW4Jk16bLEk_n4-bgfMPLsZVD1dZ0L2zyNmOwnpgnXI5SEt41wx5hPmqPjWCferPAVuimBlvs0E1RnuBO5eHRCsVaC9S1h9ENzIs19sq-A/s1600/10+Year+Old+Boys.jpg" height="276" width="320" /></a> </div>
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As parents, we have to decide what we can live with. </div>
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<br /></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Sometimes, You Have to Let Them Do It Their Way</i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Just because it’s not your way doesn’t make it wrong.
Sometimes, you have to let kids take the reins and do it their way. Sometimes
that might mean letting them fail a test because they didn’t want to study. Or
letting them walk to school because they were goofing around and dragging their
feet and they missed the bus. Sometimes it means biting your tongue and letting
them do the dishes themselves because they don’t want to do it with their
brother. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sometimes it’s smaller than that. Sometimes it means letting
them keep a pile of books on the floor by their bed, or having a mess on the
top of their dresser, just because they like it that way. Sometimes it means
letting them wear pajamas to the store, or having a turkey sandwich for
breakfast. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Many days, it means taking a deep breath and reminding
yourself that if they’re happy and healthy and nobody’s bleeding, it’s good
enough. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
Reneehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04433053001230927650noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6309855115602137306.post-83515092223780707582013-09-28T06:01:00.002-07:002013-09-28T06:01:55.648-07:00Song of the Homework Nazi<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Homework Nazi</b>. Not
a very complimentary term, is it? That was the name my husband gave me when our
son was in Kindergarten, because absolutely nothing else in life happened until
homework was done and terrible consequences were doled out if my demands were
not meant. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yep, that’s right. The TV actually can stay off <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">all night long</i>.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It was a decision I regretted sometimes when the war over
whether or not he would get to play after school vs. whether his math homework
would get done before his sister came home from Pre-K reached epic proportions,
and it begs the question. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When is the right time to make your kids do their homework? </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">I’m a Procrastinator</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There. I said it. I’m a procrastinator. A low down, dirty
putter-offer who will drag her feet until something that wouldn’t be anything
at all if I took it in tiny little bites turns into a BFD. Deadlines fly past,
leaving skid marks behind them. I was infamous in school for writing papers during
lunch an hour before they were due. If I can put it off until tomorrow, I will.
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That’s actually how I became a Homework Nazi in the first
place.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When Mr. A first started school, I wasn’t all that picky
about it. As long as homework happened before bedtime, I was okay with it. I
mean, I wasn’t on top of it when I was in school. Why should I expect him to
be? </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The problem with that is that when you have three kids,
nights tend to get crazy quick. The baby would be fussy. His sister would want
to play. Soon homework was getting done at 9:00 at night, after the other two
went to bed, leaving us both tired and cranky the next day. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It didn’t take long to realize that if homework was going to
happen without someone having to come in and clean up the bodies, the boring
stuff was going to have to come first. Even if it did totally go against every
theory I have about parenting a child with ADHD. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So, from that point on, the kids came home from
school/preschool to find a snack on the table and standing orders to sit down,
shut up and either get their homework done or grab something quiet to do so
their siblings could. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQsG-9a0wjN7ozJcQ9mHXrht1EHGVwbT8iihCRSWtO2APrRonjmqjgBivdL_dfmtMI8wCRw9PxZaNk50j2my87XDMj2jBoCYRJuxwbKAhyLHk1f1wCPBGGFVPTC9CvMUlvrTo6HAUdeJI/s1600/Dr+Who+Kitty.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="288" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQsG-9a0wjN7ozJcQ9mHXrht1EHGVwbT8iihCRSWtO2APrRonjmqjgBivdL_dfmtMI8wCRw9PxZaNk50j2my87XDMj2jBoCYRJuxwbKAhyLHk1f1wCPBGGFVPTC9CvMUlvrTo6HAUdeJI/s320/Dr+Who+Kitty.jpg" width="320" /></a><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">No, I didn’t actually
tell my kids to shut up and do their homework. Thought it. Waaaaaaay more than
once. (Like you haven’t.) But I didn’t say it. Personally, I think I deserve
bonus points for not screaming it at the top of my lungs when the kids are
poking at each other instead of just <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">doing
their freaking math homework and getting it over with so we can cease this
relentless torture and watch “Doctor Who” like normal people!!</b> But
that’s a story for another day. </i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ahem. Anyway. The point is, even a long-standing
procrastinator like me could see the path to failure was short and well-greased
if we continued on the way that we were. These days all the kids, from Mr. A to
Baby G, know the first thing they need to do when they get home is bust their
homework out. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">There Are Serious
Perks</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The kids get really annoyed with me when they have to
crack-a-lack their homework before they’re allowed to kick off the playtime.
Especially when their friends and cousins are allowed to come home and hop
straight on the computer and they’re not. I hear all about it when homework
takes awhile and I still kick them off the electronics when dinner hits the
table at 5:30. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So why don’t I just lighten up and let them do their
homework later? Because I LIKE being able to enjoy our evenings. I love that I
can come home and unless the younger two haven’t had homework help at their
afterschool program, we can relax and spend some time together as a family.
Even if spending that time translates into spending that last hour before
bedtime watching an episode of something on Netflix. (“Once Upon a Time”, Season
Two, is their show of choice right now.)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I don’t have to tell them no if a friend asks if they want
to come over, or sacrifice weekend activities trying to get homework done. Except
for the occasional book report or forgotten science fair project, we rarely
find ourselves rushing to get homework done. I have time to check their
assignment books and make sure everything’s done in a manner that guarantees
they might actually pass the class with a little more leeway than the skin on
their teeth.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And let’s be honest here. You can swear up and down you’re
enjoying yourself as much as you like, but at the end of the day? If you’re
thinking about what you still have to do, you’re not enjoying what you’re
doing. You’re spending your whole life waiting for the axe to fall and serve
your head up on homemade sandwich bread on your teacher’s desk. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m a procrastinator. I know these things. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Teach Your Kids How
to Fly Solo</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sure, doing homework as soon as the kids get home is a royal
pain in the derriere.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Especially when
you’ve still got a 3 year old that thinks he/she needs to be changed and stuff
while you’re trying to explain the fundamental basics of algebra to your 2<sup>nd</sup>
grader. But knocking out homework while the after-school chaos is in full swing
has another advantage you might not have thought of yet. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Basically, it teaches your kids how to do their own
homework. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Let’s talk about hovering.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Hovering is a great idea in theory. When all you have to do
is supervise your kids’ homework, you’re going to peek over their shoulder.
You’re going to offer helpful hints and tidbits. You’re going to gently guide
their little minds down the path of academic success.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
After about five minutes of being “helpful”, however, my
kids usually look at me and go, “MOOOOOOOOM, I can DO it!”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yup. When I have nothing but their homework to pay attention
to, they feel like I’m accusing them all of being the village idiot. After all,
G-Money’s been doing his multiplication tables since he was four. (He gets it
from his dad.) Why am I hovering over 2+2 again?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When homework is happening in the middle of bedlam, I don’t
have the chance to hover. Supper needs to be cooked. Gym clothes (please god) need
to go into the wash. Lunches need to be packed, the cats need to be fed, and
those dratted water bottles aren’t going to wash themselves. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The kids know where to find me if they need help, and since
I check their assignment books before they get started I usually know what
assignments I need to make time to look over before they go back in the
backpack. The other bonus is that they often end up helping each other. Mr. A
actually likes helping Princess C with her math homework (a modern day miracle
considering how they fight over everything else), and both the older kids love
grilling G-Money on his spelling words. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
They become a self-functioning, independent unit, and I get
to keep my sanity. That’s why I don’t take it too personally when someone tells
me I’m being a Homework Nazi. Because at the end of the day, those rules <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">work.</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Are you a Homework Nazi? When do your kids do their homework? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></i></b></div>
Reneehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04433053001230927650noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6309855115602137306.post-51397937464937077102013-09-22T11:43:00.004-07:002013-09-22T11:43:51.846-07:00When Daddy’s Away<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
Let me preface this (slightly whiny) post with a quick statement: There are wives who have it a lot worse than I do. Military spouses. Wives whose husbands are frequently away on
business for months at a time. Wives whose husbands work out of state and only
come home on the weekends, or are who knows where for any length of time
working on the power lines or the oil pipelines. </div>
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<br /></div>
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Keeping that in perspective,
the fact that my husband travels an average of 4-5 times a year for business or personal
reasons (his family’s out of state, and my schedule is considerably less
flexible than his these days) isn’t that big a deal. But that number's crawling up as time goes by, and as I find myself home alone with the kids more often I find myself wondering. </div>
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<br /></div>
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How am I going to stay on top of things while Daddy's away?</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Why am I Weepy Today?
</b></div>
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<br /></div>
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Given that I was all set to embrace single parenthood not
too long ago, you would think a week or so without my recently-reconciled
spouse wouldn’t be that big a deal, right? Yeah, so would I. </div>
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<br /></div>
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To be honest
though, I think this is the first time I’ve really been bothered that Big M is
gone. Some of it is due to the fact that it’s only been a month since
we really moved back in. Things are still shaky, and having him gone doesn't help. More of it is probably that I am, once again, taking
time off work because I don’t have any back-up daycare…and the situation
promises to get worse, with more travel right around the corner. (The last time he traveled I had to take almost an entire week off of work because of sick kids after I'd already taken vacation and bereavement the two weeks prior.)</div>
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<br /></div>
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That’s hard on the kids, who aren't used to dad traveling so often. Especially my daughter, who really doesn't do well when either parent is away. It's hard on me too, and not just because I find myself having
to shoulder the majority of the kid running around and the housework. I also find myself in the uncomfortable position of having to bid work adieu to stay home with kids who aren't feeling well, without any relief in sight. </div>
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<br /></div>
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Three of
the last six months I’ve had to take time off work because the kids were sick
and dad was out of town. It brings questions to light like whether or not I
should even bother working full time if I’m going to have to constantly take
time off (my personal time is in the negative right now, metaphorically
speaking). What that’s going to mean if I end up going to school full time and
exactly how much travel we’re talking about here? (It’s been one week out of
every month since last spring, and we're expecting him gone for a week both next month and the month after.)</div>
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<br /></div>
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Moms with kids, careers and traveling/deployed husbands,
how do you do it? What are your tricks for maintaining sanity and a career in a
busy household when dad’s away more than he’s here? </div>
Reneehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04433053001230927650noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6309855115602137306.post-47119858719003156032013-03-24T21:03:00.002-07:002013-03-24T21:17:20.449-07:00Telling the Kids Mom and Dad are Splitting UpNo one ever imagines on their wedding day that anything other than a pile of bricks smashing down on your head will be the end of "Til' death do us part". It never even occurs to you that the day in, day out stress of daily living can be just as deadly. But it can. In fact, in many ways, it can be so much worse.<br />
<br />
How do I know? Because as of yesterday, that reality belongs to me. It was nothing sudden. In fact, it was my choice, a decision made after almost a year and a half of careful deliberation. After nine years of marriage, misunderstandings and miscommunication, arguments and endless, endless misery and silence that screams overtop of any words either of us could have said, I finally said enough. I'd rather BE alone than be married and FEEL alone. Do you know what I mean?<br />
<br />
I thought the hardest part would be telling my spouse I was moving out and taking the kids with me. I was sort of right. After days upon end of arguing about it, however, I was finally able to plead my case. Even if he didn't entirely agree, he knew where I was coming from. We'd both been doing marriage wrong, and we both agreed that I was well within my rights to say I wanted the marriage I signed up for, or I wanted out.<br />
<br />
Those hurdles were hard to jump, but now that we're over them, going to counseling, and dating while living apart, it's a decision we're coming to terms with. The hardest part, however, was telling the kids.<br />
<br />
It wasn't that they melted down when I told them. In fact, Princess C was absolutely thrilled at the idea of getting to decorate her new bedroom. But there are always questions you don't really want to answer, and I keep sitting on pins and needles waiting for one of them to come up.<br />
<br />
They never did. Maybe it's because we decided to keep things simple. Rather than dragging each other through the mud, we laid it on the line. It didn't matter whose fault it was. It didn't matter who had finally put the nail in the coffin. They don't need to be caught in the middle of that. We simply told them that Mom and Dad needed to live apart for a while. Neither of us hated the other, we were still going to spend time with them, and we were still going to spend time with each other. Their lives were going to stay as normal as possible.<br />
<br />
So far, they're okay with that. We moved the furniture in yesterday. I've gotten a few "I miss Daddy"'s. Mr. A is angling to spend as much time at Dad's as possible, although I strongly suspect that has less to do with Dad than the fact that we left his computer over there. (Given that video game addiction was one of the biggest nails in the coffin of my marriage, it wasn't hard to make the decision that computer games were something fun that could happen at Dad's house instead of something that would fill each day, every day here at home.) G-money hasn't said much about it, one way or the other, except to say that he wasn't used to this new place yet and it was a little discombobulating.<br />
<br />
It helps, I think, that my husband and I are still feeling our way. We're going to counseling, and we're still sweet and affectionate in front of the kids. He brought them over yesterday after we moved stuff in and stayed for dinner. We all ate dinner over at his place tonight, and he helped me bring the cats back over (and offered to stay to de-worm them.) He'll stop by most nights to help me tuck them into bed, and I'll do the same on nights they're over there. We have a pretty good visitation agreement worked out-two nights a week and every other weekend-, but we're not sticking to that like glue.<br />
<br />
Although given the fact that my in-laws are coming to town next week-my weekend with the kids-and my mother in law has been very vocal in her disapproval of the whole thing, I'm kind of wishing we would. But I'm looking forward to seeing my nephews again, so it's really not that bad. <br />
<br />
My hope is that even if we don't stay married, keeping things close and friendly and making sure both of us are still a large part of their lives will make it easier on the kids once they've had a chance to adjust. Anyone out there have any advice to help a mom keep her peace of mind? Reneehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04433053001230927650noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6309855115602137306.post-81161058352809024662013-02-20T08:05:00.000-08:002013-02-20T08:05:04.286-08:00Taking Life Small Bites at a Time<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
One of my biggest resolutions this year was to learn how to
make small, achievable goals. It’s far too easy for that list to open up and
swallow me whole, especially when I’m having one of my down days.<br />
<br />
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I can’t say that I’ve done very well keeping up on my daily
to-do commitments. Between my daughter’s sprained ankle, both the boys having a
virus and generally being exhausted from getting up early for work every day,
plus the usual lineup of homework and afterschool activities, I’m way behind.
Even more so since Tuesdays and Thursdays are now my days to slog down to
physical therapy. </div>
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<br /></div>
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Even being behind, however, there’s a tremendous amount of
freedom in being able to give myself permission to get just a few things done
each day. I promise myself I’m going to do six things each day-and three of
those things are physical therapy, ONE load of dishes and ONE load of laundry. </div>
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<br /></div>
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It’s a sanity saver, because I’m not beating myself up. I
don’t spend all day agonizing over everything I didn’t get done. I can do what
I need to do, then give myself permission to relax and enjoy because it’s
enough. </div>
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<br /></div>
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Granted, it’s resulted in an unbelievably messy house. I
have laundry stacked to the ceiling after re-organizing all the kids’ rooms.
(Princess C apparently has a previously undiscovered gift for stashing laundry
in the darndest places. After cleaning out her room, I think I need to do a piece
on hoarding next!!) We’re definitely going to need to get back to evening chore
lists once the kids are all healthy again. </div>
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<br /></div>
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A little clutter and mess, however, is more than justified
by how much more relaxed I’ve been this week. I’ve been doing my writing and
cleaning right after work, so I have the night to sit and relax with the kids.
I can lay down with G Money when he has a cold without stressing about all the
cleaning I’m (not) doing. </div>
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<br /></div>
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Then there’s the whole “working two jobs” bid. In the past,
I’ve gotten overwhelmed and fallen behind on writing projects because I would
schedule too much to do each day. Then, when life happened and I wasn’t able to
get it ALL done, I’d freeze up and wouldn’t get ANY of it done. It feels now
like I don’t get much done, but I’m caught up on my projects and actually
managed to carve out some time to write a few hundred words each day on my
personal writing projects. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What do you think of that? Now if only I can get my living
room shoveled out before my dad gets here tomorrow night… </div>
Reneehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04433053001230927650noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6309855115602137306.post-14980154053926931082013-02-20T08:04:00.002-08:002013-02-20T08:04:34.524-08:00Time for a Break<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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I have to tip my hat to working parents who manage to have
kids involved in everything under the sun. Ever since I went back to working
full time out of the house, trying to keep up with the kids’ homework and after
school activities has been running me nuts. </div>
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<br /></div>
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In light of the fact that we’ve missed tae kwon do more than
we’ve gone this past seven weeks for one reason or another, I think we’ve
officially decided it’s time to take a break. For the next seven weeks the
younger two will have dance on Monday and Wednesday as usual, and we’ll spend
the rest of the week squeaking in more time together. </div>
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<br /></div>
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Given that my work schedule is about to flip upside down
AGAIN, with me going back to day shifts rather than overnights and working 12-8
two days a week, I think it’s going to be a good thing. The difference in
behavior I’ve seen in the kids just from spending more time one-on-one rather than
constantly being on the go is a little ridiculous. Less stress, happier and
more willing kids, less fighting between siblings. </div>
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<br /></div>
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Definitely time to get some stress off the table and get
back to the simpler things in life. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Also…and this is on a completely different tangent…I’m
dabbling with the idea of homeschooling for my oldest. This year has been hard
for him. He doesn’t do well in a traditional classroom environment. The younger
two kids love school, while Mr. A absolutely loathes everything about it. The
chance to make learning more hands-on, to take out some of the unnecessary
nonsense that goes with it and to personally work with him rather than trusting
teachers to find things that work for him, is tempting. </div>
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<br /></div>
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On the other hand, I work 40+ hours a week out of the house
at a job I absolutely love. So maybe not. </div>
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<br /></div>
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We’ll see. On that note, the lazy
cats are reminding me that I have to work overnight tonight. Now would be a
good time to sleep! </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sigh. Three more days… </div>
Reneehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04433053001230927650noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6309855115602137306.post-79889008304416176962013-01-13T16:07:00.001-08:002013-01-13T16:07:06.866-08:00Introducing My Kids to My Childhood<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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My husband often laughs at me. Okay, not like I don’t give
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My incurable desire to share my childhood with my kids. </div>
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<br /></div>
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Tonight, we’re watching “Where on Earth is Carmen Sandiego?”
It’s a cartoon version of the Carmen Sandiego game show I used to LOVE when I
was a kid. Part of it was that I was your average trivia buff at a VERY young
age-even though I was terrible at geography. More importantly, it was fun.
Exciting. Educational, while making you feel like you were one heckuva
detective. </div>
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<br /></div>
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Television is a big one for nostalgia-we have Thundercats
and Fraggles on DVD-but that’s not all. I find myself almost compulsively
driven to take my kids to the parks we used to haunt when I was a kid. To go
bowling and ice skating (which we still haven’t done). To play Uno and Clue. </div>
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<br /></div>
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I had a happy childhood. I see nothing wrong with sharing it
with the kids. Especially considering it seems like there’s so little quality
entertainment for today’s kids. So we’ll keep making chocolate chip cookies and
going for bike rides at the park and hitting the pool as often as possible. And
I’ll think of it as sharing a cultural experience with my kids rather than
reliving my youth. </div>
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<br /></div>
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More or less. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What one thing from your childhood can’t you resist sharing
with your kids? </div>
Reneehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04433053001230927650noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6309855115602137306.post-15052170331503186422013-01-06T18:13:00.003-08:002013-01-06T18:13:42.976-08:00New Year's Resolution Time<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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It’s here. That magical time of the year where we make our
resolutions, then go back to paving the road to hell with them as usual. (Thank
you, Mark Twain.) </div>
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<br /></div>
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Normally, I’m not a fan of New Year’s resolutions. They’re
too easy to make, and too easy to break. This year though, there’s been a lot
of change in the air. Things need to change for a lot of reasons. Not the least
of which being that I need to reclaim a little sanity! </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzzxBbWSqKw9tdP40RDS1fdRWYL1vj8r3aD_23dCsPWmkN1hrymviw_mnqK5yCwDq64N2k3uwQKyHVYQ3dB4aeMP8Uz0hADAm3wSuzNsW9nObF7FirhfHnPDx0q91tS8u8rZXOzfGTIXU/s1600/10+years+of+happines.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="305" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzzxBbWSqKw9tdP40RDS1fdRWYL1vj8r3aD_23dCsPWmkN1hrymviw_mnqK5yCwDq64N2k3uwQKyHVYQ3dB4aeMP8Uz0hADAm3wSuzNsW9nObF7FirhfHnPDx0q91tS8u8rZXOzfGTIXU/s320/10+years+of+happines.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Not sure how well I’ll be able to keep them, but I wanted to
toss these resolutions out in the world to see if they’ll do better out there
than trapped in my head. For starters: </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>I’m starting every day with a manageable to-do
list. For me, this is a big one. I have a tendency to try and take life all in
one bite. That leads to absolutely insane to-do lists that don’t leave me 5
minutes in a day. This year, I’m trying to find balance. </div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>I want to get back to my pre-baby weight. I was
there once, but considering how sick I had to be to get there I don’t really
want to go back there again. I decided, in a rare moment of impetuous behavior,
to give Weight Watchers a try. I only have 30 lbs to lose, and I really like
their system. We’ll see how it works. </div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">3)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Time. Time for family. Time for fun. Working two
jobs and trying to keep a house doesn’t leave me with a whole lot of time. But
back to that to-do list I mentioned earlier. Time to make sure time for the
kids gets worked into that. They’ve been the ones struggling to adjust to this
new schedule of ours. And even though they’re slowly settling in, it needs some
help. </div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">4)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Patience. Especially with my oldest. Let us
pray. </div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<br /></div>
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That’s it. That’s enough, I think! Who wants to stop in
below and share their New Year’s Resolutions???</div>
Reneehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04433053001230927650noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6309855115602137306.post-61762517038837194402012-12-18T18:02:00.000-08:002014-08-01T11:58:45.275-07:00Chore Lists: Best Parenting Win Ever<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I really, really hate that hour or so right before bedtime.
It’s not just that bedtime doesn’t come fast enough (although it doesn’t). It’s
that the kids are invariably bouncing off the walls. They can be little angels
all night long, or little terrors from the moment they walk through the door.
It doesn’t matter. Every single day, that hour before bedtime is a cacophony of
noise and hyperactivity and me fussing at the kids until I’m blue in the face
trying to get them to listen. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguQAX9NVoT4pPANVIta88ee41hhfJ5W6S8ZLXfo53PvfV1AN7RvSbuBvr2HTnKrtznFrzZGfirTHFSeJsjWXadjk5fGku3kxXBfihVOYEPD50PVgJo_A4pnZd8E8xNHGE6vQVs1sLE9Eg/s1600/055.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguQAX9NVoT4pPANVIta88ee41hhfJ5W6S8ZLXfo53PvfV1AN7RvSbuBvr2HTnKrtznFrzZGfirTHFSeJsjWXadjk5fGku3kxXBfihVOYEPD50PVgJo_A4pnZd8E8xNHGE6vQVs1sLE9Eg/s320/055.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">These poop. A lot. </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Chores? Yeah. Right. But, somehow, it has to be done. The
house needs cleaned. The dishes need to be washed. Cats need to be fed, litter
boxes need to be scooped. There’s no getting out of it. So how do you find time
to fit it into your day? </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Bribery. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
No, really. It takes a combination of discipline and rewards
to get the kids to do things they don’t want to do, and to get them to do it <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">every single day</i>. They don’t want to.
They’d much rather watch tv or play video games than do the dishes and clean
the litter box every day after school. They’d much much much rather go to their
friends’ houses than scrub down the bathtub or run a vacuum in the kitchen on
cleaning day. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So what happens? I ask the kids nicely. The kids ignore me,
procrastinate, get distracted. I have to ask a hundred times before something
gets done. Eventually, I snap and send them to brush their teeth. The rest will
just have to wait until tomorrow, because I’m going to have an aneurysm if it
doesn’t. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
All I want is a little bit of efficiency, darn it. More
importantly, I want to be able to do what I, myself, need to do before bed
without having to hover over my kids like some black mother angel of death to
make sure they’re doing their jobs. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Flying Free</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The solution, for me, was to take a page out of my boss’s
book. Every morning, I get to work and get handed an assignment list. My
morning isn’t over until that assignment list is done. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So, we created the Chore List. Every night, I sit down out
write out a list of chores for each kid. Some of those chores stay the same
from day to day. They clean their rooms every night, put away their laundry,
take their medicine and brush their teeth. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Other chores rotate around, so unless I need someone for a
special project or somebody’s sick no one has to rinse dishes or empty out the
litter box two days in a row. If there’s something specific I need them to do,
like vacuum the front hallway, I add it to the list. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Before bed, the kids get the lists and a time I expect them
to be done. Now they know what they have to do and how much time they have to
do it, and they’re responsible for everything else after that. No more telling
them what to do, or nagging them to get it done. They’re responsible for
themselves, and I can hand them their list and move on to doing the laundry. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Oh! Right. The rewards. Each kid gets a weekly allowance for
helping out, which was as much a sanity saver for me as it was to give them
some money-“Mom, can you buy this for me?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>is almost never said. It seemed like if I was going to shake up the
system, however, I should find something else to add to the bag. Before we
started, I sat down and put 63 erasers into a bag. When the kids finish their
chore lists, they get to take an eraser out of the bag and put it into a little
jar we have sitting on top of the bookshelf in the living room.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Once all of the erasers are in the jar (which is the rough
equivalent of three weeks of doing their chores every day), they get to
celebrate with a movie night, complete with Chinese for supper. Then we start
all over again. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It works because Chinese is a favorite for all three of
them, but getting Chinese for the five of us is ridiculously expensive. So it’s
something we save for birthdays and special occasions. Doing it once a month as
a “thank you” to the kids for stepping up to the plate is worth it, and
evenings are much less of a headache these days. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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And, every once in a while-not often, but once in a
while-the house actually stays clean for a few days in a row. What do you know?
</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The only real pain in the rear is having to sit down and
write (or type and print) the list out every night. I haven’t found a good
solution to that, but I’m working on it. I’m thinking some kind of magnetic
board…</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Anyway. Chore lists. Best sanity saver ever when it comes to
kids and housework. How do you keep things sane and efficient at your house? </div>
Reneehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04433053001230927650noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6309855115602137306.post-9208025716710947952012-12-18T09:09:00.000-08:002012-12-18T09:09:08.651-08:00Parenting with Depression<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"> </b>
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdnTyjeWTiX2QAXnp8zouyMpxGQQ8cjE7iVGXKDRuYPHvIc7yqPmmXTaPKgXm3JWbTmXie2Gkz8UAapr22nsRf9THesfbxc6ASBErDvimWSb5e0XUxAyZBdmUUqo5HjS1_NziHoOq3wGA/s1600/184.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdnTyjeWTiX2QAXnp8zouyMpxGQQ8cjE7iVGXKDRuYPHvIc7yqPmmXTaPKgXm3JWbTmXie2Gkz8UAapr22nsRf9THesfbxc6ASBErDvimWSb5e0XUxAyZBdmUUqo5HjS1_NziHoOq3wGA/s320/184.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">For those days when things are just a little bit fuzzy...</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
For those of you who come here for the quirky quips, the
offbeat quibbles, the general perkiness of it all…come back tomorrow. I
promise, there’ll be more then. In light of recent events, however, I wanted to
take today, pull back the curtain and talk about something that really matters.
Something I, and thousands, if not millions, of moms all around the world,
struggle with every day. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Parenting with depression. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"> Nobody Knows</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It doesn’t seem to matter how much publicity depression
gets, how much people claim to understand it or who says it doesn’t bother
them. At the end of the day, most depression sufferers have something in
common. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
They don’t want to admit that they have a problem. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Many of the people who read this will be surprised that
anyone would use the words “me” and “depression” in the same sentence. Most
days, they’d be right. Perky and happy and upbeat and looking at the bright side
of life are mottos I try and live by. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Those are the days I’m winning. Those are the days I can
look depression in the face and say, “Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah! I’m taking my
life back!” Sometimes, however, I’m not the winner. That’s when things start to
get sticky. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">What Happens After? </b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There are many things in life that can cause depression to
flare up. The doctor diagnosed it as seasonal, and to an extent he’s right.
Winter’s definitely harder for me. I find myself struggling to keep a smile on
my face when I’m spending day after day inside these four walls in the middle
of winter gray…which is why my living room is currently painted like something
straight out of Seuss! </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Snow isn’t the big killer for me, however. Stress is. The
minute I start to feel overwhelmed I just shut down, starting a cascade of fail
that leaves me buried under missed deadlines, late bills, short tempers…and
lost time with my kids. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
On the days depression wins, I’m not a great mom. I’m not
even a particularly good mom. As a matter of fact, if my kids get fed and get
to school on time I consider it a job well done. Depression is one of those
things that just swallows you whole. You don’t want to play. You don’t want to
go places. The chitter chatter and constant bickering of little voices that
would normally go in one ear and out the other drives you
absolutely…fricking…insane. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m sure it’s different for other moms. For me, if I can’t
deal with life, I certainly can’t do a bang-up job parenting my kids. We get
by. They watch a lot of cartoons. Go into raptures because I lift the limits on
their video games just to get us through the day. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But those days aren’t fair to them, because I know what they
really want, what they NEED, is me. There. Connected. Giving them 100% of my
undivided attention. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Happy Drugs? </b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The first thing most people ask me when I tell them I suffer
from seasonal and stress-induced depression is whether or not I take
anti-depressants. That’s a hard question for me. I have, for limited periods of
time, taken baby doses of anti-depressant drugs. They help-some. The side
effects inspire me to take them as little as I can possibly get away with. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m hoping one day to find a good solution. In the meantime,
I have to keep parenting as best I can and hope one day my kids will look back
and say, “It was enough.” I have to TRY and keep my stress levels down (yeah, I
laughed at that one too) so I can keep my head in the game. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Depression Isn’t a
Stigma</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
…but very few parents are going to step up to the plate and
admit that they have a problem. If you find yourself struggling, reach out. If
you don’t want to talk to your spouse, talk to your doctor. If you don’t want
to talk to your friends, find a good therapist. (Most of them are covered by
insurance.) </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Most importantly, if you find that depression is making it
hard to function, if you find yourself struggling just to get out of bed and
missing deadlines and due dates like there was no tomorrow, ask for help.
You’re worth it. </div>
Reneehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04433053001230927650noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6309855115602137306.post-12659179431071560342012-12-18T09:08:00.000-08:002012-12-18T09:08:27.362-08:00The Sandy Hook Shootings and Our Schoolkids<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
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It seems like the past week has been filled with so much, so
fast, that I’m having a hard time sitting down today to blog. My mind is
reeling. So I’m going to just talk about it all, all at once, and hope
somewhere in there it all makes sense! </div>
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<br /></div>
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Let’s start with Sandy Hook, since that’s what’s on
everyone’s minds this morning. I’m sure you’ve already heard the story. A
troubled young man stole his mother’s guns, killed her, then went to the school
where she’d worked. At last count, 20 elementary students between the ages of 5
and 10 were dead. Parents and siblings throughout the county were mourning
children who had barely had time to live. Teachers, the principal and a school
psychologist lost their lives, and I still haven’t heard what happened to the
heroic janitor credited with giving teachers the heads-up to stay in their
rooms and out of the shooter’s way. </div>
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<br /></div>
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I haven’t sat down to discuss this incident with my kids
yet. I want to. I need to. But I haven’t figured out how to say it. Here, in
the bucolic town we call home, this kind of event is as foreign to them as a
visit to an alien planet. But it’s not. We lived in VA when the horrible
shootings at Virginia Tech happened-my brother-in-law and his wife were both students
there at the time. I was across the street when the sniper shot a woman in the
parking lot of a Michael’s in Fredericksburg, VA, and we’d been at the
Ponderosa he hit by Richmond just a few nights before. </div>
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<br /></div>
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Random violence isn’t something you get used to, and I pray
we never do. I’m not sure how to explain it to my kids without terrifying them.
I can only hope that they learn to be careful, to be aware, to understand that
there’s risk but they shouldn’t let it run their lives. </div>
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<br /></div>
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There was an interesting post this morning on my Facebook
feed talking about letting some of our war veterans step in and act as armed
security guards at schools across the nation. I’m not entirely sure how I feel
about that. I love the idea of giving our soldiers jobs when they come
home-with some additional training in dealing with kids, I think they’d be
marvelous. And it would free up our LEOs for jobs elsewhere. </div>
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<br /></div>
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On the other hand, it makes me sad to think that it might be
necessary. One of the biggest reasons we left the city and moved to a small
town was so the kids could go to a good, safe school, with quality academics
and no metal detectors coming in the doors. We had a “school cop” when I was in
high school. He kept the brawls in the hallways to a minimum, took the time to
take an interest in the kids at lunch, and did a hundred other things
none of us delinquent teens knew anything about. </div>
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<br /></div>
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I do remember, very well, him giving me a hard time for
being tardy when I stopped in to pick up some paperwork after graduation. (I
graduated a semester early.) It was hilarious. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My point is, a single, good-natured officer roaming the
hallways is very different from a gun toting, metal detector using guard.
Because that’s what it would be. A guard. Protecting an area that needs to be
protected, even though it shouldn’t. And…yeah. I got my kids out of the city
just to get away from situations like this one, but I guess there really is no escaping
it anywhere. So we may as well make the best of it, hug our children tight, and
pray for those families who live in areas with so much violence that they take
this kind of thing for granted. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
Reneehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04433053001230927650noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6309855115602137306.post-4469181648158624742012-11-07T07:13:00.001-08:002012-11-07T07:13:10.455-08:00Kindergartners for President!!<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBIExwG4mOq5OPeHGsNgT9QUHMQX65OYlx2i77hyphenhyphenT8XB6il1bbXdnWHI6gqafRK9apDIKWcxIDhhY4EOfGQo8-cUAW0o0W-K2KN0d_x_glJiEx067miUVkMldySkvfMPJuFVSHdeQkXrA/s1600/School+girl.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBIExwG4mOq5OPeHGsNgT9QUHMQX65OYlx2i77hyphenhyphenT8XB6il1bbXdnWHI6gqafRK9apDIKWcxIDhhY4EOfGQo8-cUAW0o0W-K2KN0d_x_glJiEx067miUVkMldySkvfMPJuFVSHdeQkXrA/s320/School+girl.jpg" width="261" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I bet she'd support my movement to elect a </td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"> </td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">cat for president....</td></tr>
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There are no words to describe how happy I am that this
election is over. Not because President Obama is starting his second term and,
I hope, gearing up to make good on the potential we saw in his last four years,
although I did vote for the man. No, today marks a bigger day for me. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The end of the party-clashing nastiness that has dominated
my Facebook page, news headlines, Twitter stream and much, much more for the
past 12 months. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I went on an unfriending spree this morning in the wake of
party-clashing rhetoric on my page. I’m tired of it. The election is OVER. We
need to work TOGETHER for the next four years if we want to do better than we
have the last four years. </div>
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<br /></div>
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For four<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>years, all I’ve
seen in our government is party politics, stonewalling, stalling (to the point
that our government was on the verge of shutting down) and an unwillingness to
compromise. We have financial geniuses in office right now. So why is our
budget off? Don’t tell me it’s because of our president. One man does not an
economy make. Many people are responsible for the mess we’re in, and many
people need to grow the (bleep) up, step up to the plate and fix it. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In honor of that, I propose we send all of our politicians
back to Kindergarten. And I’d like to send the venom-spewing, propaganda
spouting, hateful party members that have made this election the nightmare that
it’s been right along with them. Why? Because if we’re going to have a prayer
of pulling our economy, our government and our way of life into tomorrow while
still in one piece, they need to learn to: </div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span> </div>
<ul>
<li> Treat others with respect</li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Stay out of the mud</li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Focus on the task at hand</li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Let bygones be bygones</li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Clean up after themselves</li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Compromise</li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Pool their resources to get the job done</li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Show consideration for the opinions and choices
of others</li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Move beyond their differences to achieve a
common goal</li>
</ul>
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And, most importantly…</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">If you can’t say
something nice, don’t say anything at all!!!!!!</b></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Reneehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04433053001230927650noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6309855115602137306.post-89376769563506920232012-10-10T14:17:00.003-07:002012-10-10T14:17:55.331-07:00Surviving Election Year (and Still Having a Babysitter!)<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6vcGMWKoP9fYNKaH8qlEeOxktF6owD3cglLygvfIITJv0QwSyXEy3ggrZuJ5_3UT0kNjCesTIj6hQzPIAiHoLJ1lZ6EqVzJ0eEcQYB-Nu8TGXBFtra0LDQtCUikWi5GS80qD62BBfWhI/s1600/Romeny.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6vcGMWKoP9fYNKaH8qlEeOxktF6owD3cglLygvfIITJv0QwSyXEy3ggrZuJ5_3UT0kNjCesTIj6hQzPIAiHoLJ1lZ6EqVzJ0eEcQYB-Nu8TGXBFtra0LDQtCUikWi5GS80qD62BBfWhI/s200/Romeny.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I try and turn a blind eye to the smear campaigns rolling
around during election year. I don’t support them. I don’t support the people
hosting them. I SERIOUSLY don’t support the candidates that endorse them. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sometimes, however, you’ll come across a smear campaign so
widely propagated that you have to say something about it. Because not only
does it make you look unfavorably on the candidate and their campaign managers,
it makes you lose all respect for the person posting. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yep, I said posting. Because for me, that breaking point was
seeing post after post of smear campaign propaganda posted on Facebook by someone
I like. Someone I’ve known a very long time. Someone I used to have a great
deal of respect for. And someone I will never again be comfortable leaving in
charge of my children. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjrl2cdgkmHuhj6Sr5ip-sjrxmlJHUpIzIuUyb7SIpNlPhPMEaQbZ1TeqeEQzuHtfpuqMIWARj_kAtglNORTfVUbShhCoZisp1KAiVuenzgRP8JnjP3QNWEzEamZQgMoCejtRC69_7YLs/s1600/romney+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjrl2cdgkmHuhj6Sr5ip-sjrxmlJHUpIzIuUyb7SIpNlPhPMEaQbZ1TeqeEQzuHtfpuqMIWARj_kAtglNORTfVUbShhCoZisp1KAiVuenzgRP8JnjP3QNWEzEamZQgMoCejtRC69_7YLs/s200/romney+2.jpg" width="177" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As a parent, I encourage my kids to express their views. I
also encourage them to use their manners, think before they speak, show respect for their elders and authority figures, stick to the
facts and not try and win an argument by throwing their opponent under the bus.And I expect the adults I entrust with the responsibility of their care to do the same. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“But it’s just a Facebook post!” Your Facebook page is a
representation of your personal brand. What you put on your page, you are
personally endorsing. Being an azzhat on Facebook makes you an azzhat in real
life. Not only because you’re repeating it, but because by repeating it you’re
stating that this is both right and a reflection of your personal beliefs. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
THINK before you speak. Be careful what you post. And for
the love of God, can election year be over already? </div>
Reneehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04433053001230927650noreply@blogger.com0