Pour Me a Mimosa, September's Finally Here

Want to feel like the worst mom in history? Talk to someone after September 1st whose face still lights up when she's talking about having her kids home for the summer.

I love my kids. I do. I love having them home. I love making them dinner. I love taking them swimming and hiking and out to the video arcade. I love watching them race go-karts and teach each other how to play chess. And come the end of July my mental clock starts ticking down until the day I get to feed them breakfast, kiss their sweet little faces goodbye, and put them on that big yellow rolling thing that’s going to whisk them away to a full day of education, entertainment and, hopefully, enjoyment…someplace else, for six precious hours a day.

Why?

1)      School keeps them busy. Do your kids demand that every second of every minute of every hour of their day be filled with…something? Let me TELL you.

My boys, my boys are happy enough to putter around the house during the day. My daughter’s a whole different story. She’s not happy if she doesn’t have a project in her hands. And since she isn’t always good at coming up with those projects on her own, guess who she counts on to fill her day?

At school she has an entire curriculum sitting there waiting to keep her little hands filled from the time she gets to school until the time she gets back on that bus to come on home, and we’re both okay with that.

2)      Early bedtime. Oh, c’mon. You knew it was coming. We’re all bedtime slackers here. There’s too much to do to put the kids to bed early in the summer, and let’s face it…it’s kind of nice having them sleep in until 8 or 9 for a change!

That said, you gotta get some grown-up time in somewhere. And since I’m the antithesis of a morning person, that “somewhere” is after the kids go to bed at night. Why, last night, after I put the kids to bed, I poured myself a glass of wine, grabbed some chocolate, and…sorted socks. Two months’ worth of socks.

On second thought…

September...it's almost here...

3)  Getting back into a routine. If I wanted to get up every morning, go to work at the same time every day and go to bed at the same time every night, I wouldn’t freelance for a living. Knowing the kids will be in school from 8 am to 2:30 pm every day, however, does wonders for my ability to set up SOME kind of schedule for myself, instead of trying to juggle work, housework and a few hours of sanity around the pool, the library and whenever the heck the kids happen to go to bed.

4)      Step away from the video games. Want to know my guilty little secret? I try and work when the kids are in school or in bed, but I’ve been known to put in my fair share of 10-12 hour days. As a mom whose kids liberally hock giant loogies on the word “nap”, keeping them all occupied long enough for me to write more than 2 or 3 words at a time gets a little tricky.  

I’ve been known to cave, waive video game and television restrictions and let the kids go nuts all day long as long as they’re occupied and out of my hair.

When they’re in school they don’t get home until 3, have at least an hour of homework (yes, all of them), have to eat dinner, take a bath and, somewhere in there, go to dance/band rehearsals/scouts/swimming lessons. Even if I let them spend every free minute they had in an afternoon glued to a video game (which I don’t), they still wouldn’t spend more than an hour or two slow-roasting their retinas in front of the warm glow of their computer screen.

5)      Having them around other kids. I’m not gonna lie. I have an open door policy when it comes to the kids’ friends. They’re happy when there’s a houseful of people, I’m happy when they’re happy, and I have as much of the neighborhood as possible in and out of my house all summer long.

But there are some parents I just don’t know like that-mostly the ones I only see at school functions or Girl Scout dinners. We say hello, but when the kids ask if they can have a sleepover in the middle of July we all get that “deer in the headlights” look as we realize that we have absolutely no idea how to get ahold of each other.

The rejoicing that takes place when these guys get back together in September can make even the best parent feel like Scrooge. Trust me on this one.

What’s your take on going back to school? Throwing a party, or counting down the days until June rolls around again?

Do Audiobooks Really Teach Our Kids to Read?

Those of you who know me know that unless I’m at work or at the pool with the kids, I usually have my nose stuffed in a book. Kindle book. E-book. Paperback. Hardcover. Comic book. Doesn’t matter, I love them all. My oldest shares my devout passion for the written word, and my youngest is still learning how to read, so them I understand.

My daughter, however, is something of a conundrum to me. She likes to read, don’t get me wrong, but if given the choice reading a book isn’t what she’d prefer to do with her free time. If she has to read, she’s more likely to reach for a non-fiction book or a book of short stories than a chapter book.

I get it. Everyone has their own reading preferences. There are days I don’t have the patience to read an entire story from beginning to end either, which is why I’m STILL in the middle of the second book of the Dresden Files and the first of Dean Koontz’s Frankenstein, but my books of short stories are falling apart. It’s her passion for audiobooks that I can’t quite wrap my head around.

Princess C LOVES audiobooks. She’ll sit for hours in the living room and listen to the Scholastic audio books on the CD player, and the Ramona books on her iPod got her through our last car trip. With her penchant for listening to stories, however, I worry that she’s missing out on the benefits of actually reading the words off of the page.

With that in mind, I turned to Summer Moser, owner of Summer’s Stories out in Indiana, and asked her for her take on the audiobook vs printed book debate. She’s a mom and a bookstore owner, she has to know a couple of things about books, right?

I was really surprised by what she had to say.

You can read the entire blog post on my blog over at Clever Copywriting, but I’ll hit the highlights here. Bottom line, not only do audiobooks teach kids to really enjoy books by separating the need to sound out and understand words from their enjoyment of the story, they also teach them the ebb and flow and nuances of language and pronunciation that you just don’t get from reading the words off the page.

So are audiobooks as good for our kids as “regular” books? Absolutely. Not that we shouldn’t still encourage them to read, but it’s not the end of the world if they’d rather listen to a book on tape every now and again.

What’s your take on audiobooks and teaching our kids to read?

Kids and Babysitters: Work-At-Home Mommy Fail, or the One Best Thing?

Today I did something that I’ve managed to avoid doing for the past few years: I asked a friend to watch my kids for the day so I could work. Here’s my question to all of you out there. Is this a work-at-home mom fail, or a better solution for everyone?

On One Hand…

When I started working from home, it was because I wanted a way to slip a little more flexibility into my schedule and spend time with my kids. And yes, to keep the little monsters out of daycare. Until that point we’d had some great sitters, but we’d also had some pretty awful ones. So the idea of being able to work at home while the kids ran around the house was a good one. And for the last five years, we’ve made it work.

Oh sure, there have been plenty of weekends when I’ve had a full plate and I’ve “asked” my husband to keep an eye on them for the day so I could sneak out and write an article in peace. But he’s their dad. That’s what he’s there for. And since we both work from home, I consider that fair trade for all the days I’ve sat in the children’s museum or in a booth at Chuck E. Cheese (or, on one memorable occasion, under a tree at the wading pool) with my laptop on my lap trying to write so he’d have a quiet house in the middle of the afternoon.

Because really, when you’ve got three kids, when does quiet really happen anyway?

Looking back, there may have even been a couple of times the kids were sent to grandma’s or my sister-in-law’s to play for the afternoon so I could have a couple of hours of peace to wrap up a project. But for the most part, I’ve managed to run herd on the herd while still getting it done. Until today.

Today, my to-do list was so overwhelmingly long, with the promise of having to prep for days off in the not-too-distant future lurking overhead, that I cracked. I needed eight uninterrupted hours, so I asked a friend if she’d keep an eye on them while I got some things done. No, it’s not quite the same as hiring a babysitter. And I’m taking her kids tomorrow as fair trade. But a small part of me can’t help but point out that by sending them to a “sitter”, I’ve caved on one of the most important caveats of being a work-at-home mom: Staying home so the kids can too.

On the Other Hand…

There’s always an on the other hand, isn’t there? On the other hand, being a work-at-home parent isn’t the same as being a stay-at-home parent, and anyone who tries to convince you that it is either doesn’t work full time and can squeeze their work hours around their kids’ nap and bedtimes or is still fairly new to the game.

The simple truth is, when I’m working, no matter where I’m working, my full attention isn’t on my kids. Sure, I keep an ear out for blood. If we’re out and about I make sure to pop my head up every once in a while to make sure they’re doing all right. But the real focus of my attention is on the screen in front of me, and I sometimes feel like they’re missing out because of that.

When I’m working, even if I’m sitting right there, I’m not really engaging with my kids. I’m not reading with them, even if they’re curled up on the couch reading right next to me. I’m not coloring with them, even if they’re sitting at the table with their coloring books and crayons only a foot away from the USB connector on my headset. I’m not playing ball with them, even though I’m sitting in the grass keeping a half an eye on the proceedings while I type up this week’s blogs.

While that’s okay some of the time, I don’t want that to become the norm. Which is why I try so hard to keep them out and about and actively engaged in something while I’m trying to put a dent in the day’s to-do list, why I try to make sure I do as much work as possible when the kids are in bed, why I’m totally cool with it if they want to have company over to play during the day so they’re not solely entertaining themselves…

…and yes, why I think it’s a good thing for parents who work from home to get a sitter every once in a while so that someone’s out there giving their kids their undivided attention when they can’t.

Parents, what do you think? Would you hire a sitter for your kids if you were working from home?

Asthma, Inhalers and Allergies, Oh My!

The calendar might say we're well past the beginning of summer, but the wad of pollen in my back yard says that spring is still sticking its nose in here and there.

For most people, that means fun filled months of swimming, camping and kicking the kids out the door every chance they get. At our house, that means it’s time to take out stock in Benadryl, because I’m going to spend the next three months doling out more sneeze-blockers-in-a-cup than the average pharmacy. And getting used to having an inhaler-shaped lump in each pocket. And turning down party invitations because the kids are sprawled across the living room with the nebulizer mask in one hand and a box of tissues in the other.

Okay, that’s a little overdramatic. Ish. But when you have three kids with seasonal allergies, two with mild asthma and one with a deep, personal attachment to the bright orange plastic on his inhaler that leads to it needing to be sprung every time things just start getting good, spring takes on a whole new meaning.

Living with Asthma

If you’re one of those parents who has had a kid with severe asthma since the day they were born, please stop by the comments section and tell me how you do it. Mr. A, my oldest, is the king of respiratory infections, but post-surgical pneumonia last year kicked the mild asthma he’s had since he was a baby into full gear and it’s driving me insane.

If you’re new to the asthma game, however, I’m happy to share the teeny, tiny handful of information I’ve got in my hands (and am using to keep my sanity afloat).

Rule Number One: Never will I ever leave the inhaler at home.

I don’t care if they’ve been perfectly fine for months, you’re only going to be gone for an hour and there isn’t a trigger in sight. The next attack is sitting there. Lurking. Waiting for the minute you drop your guard.

Yes, I speak from personal experience. Last year, our local Broadway League put on “Wicked”. I packed up Princess C, her godmother, her godmother’s husband and her favorite auntie and we braved the elements to check it out. She’d been healthy for months. Her asthma never kicks up when she’s not sick. Want to guess what happened in the car on the way home thanks to a quick jog down a cold street?

Rule Number Two: Using an inhaler and/or nebulizer without decongestants, antihistamines and whatever else you’re using to control the triggers is a waste of your time.

Don’t just accept that your kid has asthma, no matter how simple that diagnosis might seem. Understand what causes it, then take action to prevent while you treat. Otherwise, you can mainline steroids and albuterol until the cows come home. It doesn’t matter. You’re still going to be doing it again two hours later.    

Rule Number Three: Don’t assume that the doctor knows what they’re talking about. I adore my pediatrician. As a matter of fact, with a few notable exceptions, I’ve adored all my pediatricians. But nobody knows your child better than you. If something doesn’t feel just right, don’t be afraid to push. Pick up the phone. Ask annoying questions. A good doctor won’t mind, and a doctor that minds won’t matter.

Rule Number Four: Be willing to change your plans. Asthma attacks happen. Usually at the worst possible moment. Almost always when you have someplace else you need to be. Be willing to change your plans so your child can get the rest they need when their asthma’s acting up. That way you have one asthma attack a day instead of four or five.

Rule Number Five: LEARN. You are your child’s best chance of managing to have asthma and a life at the same time. Learn. Understand their condition, what triggers it, how you can tell they’re having an attack and what brings it back under control. Then plan accordingly. An ounce of prevention can go a long way toward helping them learn to live with asthma instead of watching their childhood pass them by.

Fourth Grade Graduation-Not as Think as You Dumb It Is

Yes, I did it. After celebrating the glory of my fourth grader walking across the stage and receiving his diploma, bidding elementary school a fond farewell, I took him out to lunch. And I taught him a bar game. Couth? Probably not. But it impressed the hell out of every other fourth grader in the room (and most of the adults) so I figure I can write it off as a valuable life skill.

Right?

Fourth Grade Graduation-Not as Think as You Dumb It Is
You know, once upon a time I thought that elementary school graduation was dumb. The same can be said about middle school graduation. They were just brief stopovers on the way to the main event, right?

This morning, sniffling back tears while the kids sang some random song about saving the planet (something having kids who are actually going to need it one day has given me a WHOLE new perspective on), it all suddenly made sense. This isn’t a celebration for them.

This is for you.

This is your reward for every time you thought about strangling them because you got another note home from the teacher that they didn’t turn in their homework.

Gratitude for every sleepless night you spent sitting up with them putting together the science fair project they forgot was due. At 9 am. The next morning.

Public recognition of the fact that you have gotten up every morning, Monday through Friday, rain or shine or three feet of snow, rolled that small, unwilling, protesting body out of bed, slipped its limp arms and legs into pants and a shirt, slapped together some random something for breakfast and walked out the door and down to the bus stop before your first cup of coffee.

This is a moment of triumph you can look back on when you’re reading notes from their middle school teachers that they didn’t turn in their homework, paying through the nose for lost/broken locker locks and wading through page after page of text for answers you could have in five minutes if the school would let you use Wikipedia.

Congrats, Mom and Dad, You Did It

Fourth grade graduation is tangible proof that your little guy or gal is on their way to becoming a responsible adult, and since they managed to walk away with a diploma in their hand instead of an invitation to come back for another round, you’re both doing something right. So congrats. You made through another milestone.

Kick back, relax and enjoy the summer. The easy years are over. This might be the last break you ever get.